#absurd

There have been no sects in the Christian world, however absurd, which have not endeavoured to support their opinions by arguments drawn from Scripture. ↗

— Laurence Sterne

#been #christian #christian world #drawn #endeavoured

That which seems the height of absurdity in one generation often becomes the height of wisdom in another. ↗

— Adlai E. Stevenson

#another #becomes #generation #height #often

Money is speech. It's incongruous to say a multimillionaire can spend as much on his own campaign as he wants, but you can only give $2,300. His free speech rights are different from yours, thus violating the Equal Protection Clause of the Constitution. It's absurd. ↗

— Roger Stone

#campaign #clause #constitution #different #equal

Because death and illness are the most horrible things in life, of course that's where the most absurdly funny things are going to happen. ↗

— Julia Sweeney

#because #course #death #funny #funny things

A prophet or an achiever must never mind an occasional absurdity, it is an occupational risk. ↗

— Oswald Mosley

#achiever #mind #must #never #occasional

At Starbucks I like ordering a “Tall venti in a grande cup.” That’s basically me asking for a small large in a medium cup.
 ↗

— Jarod Kintz

#barista #coffee #confusion #hassle #large

I once saw a politician walking a dog, and I thought, “How absurd—an animal walking an animal.” Then I thought, “If given the choice, I’d rather vote for the dog.”
 ↗

— Jarod Kintz

#animal #choice #dog #pet #politicians

Hydrogenated and androgynous milky white love is all I have to offer you. Would you like me to pour it in your coffee, or directly into your soul?
 ↗

— Jarod Kintz

#androgynous #coffee #drink #food #generosity

When I sing, it sounds like I’m gargling spaghetti. Is it any wonder that women lust after me and mail me their panties? (Mail to: Jarod Kintz/12358 Fibonacci Way/Jacksonville, Fl 32258)
 ↗

— Jarod Kintz

#food #lust #mail #music #naughty

I wasn’t very far away from figuring out the secret to love, no more than two miles or so, when my camel broke down and I got shot at by a pack of cigarettes. ↗

— Jarod Kintz

#camel #cigarettes #figuring #love #secret