#alcohol

The fruit of youth or of the grape, the transitory magic of the brief passage from darkness to darkness - the old illusion that truth and beauty were in some way entwined. ↗

— F. Scott Fitzgerald

#drinking #youth #beauty

For the first twenty years of my life, I rocked myself to sleep. It was a harmless enough hobby, but eventually, I had to give it up. Throughout the next twenty-two years I lay still and discovered that after a few minutes I could drop off with no problem. Follow seven beers with a couple of scotches and a thimble of good marijuana, and it’s funny how sleep just sort of comes on its own. Often I never even made it to the bed. I’d squat down to pet the cat and wake up on the floor eight hours later, having lost a perfectly good excuse to change my clothes. I’m now told that this is not called “going to sleep” but rather “passing out,” a phrase that carries a distinct hint of judgment. ↗

— David Sedaris

#drinking #humor #change

Alcohol was for people who basically wished to be dead but lacked the courage to kill themselves. ↗

— MacDonald Harris

#courage

Tess realized one of the great modern dating sadnesses: everyone is so used to the comforting glow of the computer screen that no one can go so far as to say "good morning" in public without being liquored up. ↗

— Amelia Gray

#alienation #dating #digital-age #isolation #age

He looked as if he had been beaten to death with a wine bottle, but by doing it with the contents of the bottle. ↗

— Richard Brautigan

#description #wine #wine-bottle #death

I was glad to be made aware that “Veimke” (jeune fille au pair), is subject to natural law, and can be made fat, by such things as poor diet, and alcohol. ↗

— Roman Payne

#au-pair #diet #germans #humor #humour

Beloved, we join hands here to pray for gin. An aridity defiles us. Our innards thirst for the juice of juniper. Something must be done. The drought threatens to destroy us. Surely, God who let manna fall from the heavens so that the holy children of Israel might eat, will not let the equally holy children of Niggeratti Manor die from the want of a little gin. Children, let us pray. ↗

— Wallace Thurman

#gin #liquor #prayer #equality

In the remote towns of the west there are few of the amenities of civilization; there is no sewerage, there are no hospitals, rarely a doctor; the food is dreary and flavourless from long carrying, the water is bad; electricity is for the few who can afford their own plant, roads are mostly non-existent; there are no theatres, no picture shows and few dance halls; and the people are saved from stark insanity by the one strong principle of progress that is ingrained for a thousand miles east, north, south and west of the Dead Heart - the beer is always cold. ↗

— Kenneth Cook

#food

The poor spend all their free time drinking. It helps cope with the terrible drudgery of obtaining food stamps. An ethic of alcoholism prevails among the upper class too, but they use leisure to deal with it. ↗

— Bauvard

#drinking #food-stamps #funny #humor #leisure

I'm not saying I'm an Alcoholic, but I do have prescription shot glasses ↗

— Josh Stern

#humor