#all

I kind of feel like I've been eating professionally for a long time. I've tasted everything. If there's a sausage, you know what? I know exactly what it tastes like. I love them all. But right now it's more important for me to not have all that grease and fat in my body. ↗

— Duff Goldman

#body #eating #everything #exactly #fat

I heard the man and woman cry a warning as I frantically racked my brain for some sort of throat-repairing spell, which I was clearly about to need. Of course the only words that I actually managed to yell at the werewolf as he ran at me were, 'BAD DOG!' Then, out of the corner of my eye, I caught a flash of blue light on my left. Suddenly, the werewolf seemed to smack into an invisible wall just inches in front of me.... "You know," someone said off to my left, "I usually find a blocking spell to be a lot more effective than yelling 'Bad dog,' but maybe that's just me. ↗

— Rachel Hawkins

#hex-hall #humor #rachel-hawkins #spell #werewolf

A drummer is usually like the backbone. ↗

— Brody Armstrong

#drummer #like #usually

They stared at each other for several long minutes hoping the other would give in. Finally she broke. “Fine, will you go in with me then?” “Will it make you feel better?” “Yes.” “Sure thing. The worse thing that could happen is people will think you are carrying my baby. I’m sure it’s perfectly normal for a female teacher to be with her male student at a pharmacy in the middle of the day buying a pregnancy test. What could go wrong?” he asked wryly. ↗

— R.L. Mathewson

#humor #paranormal-romance #romance #tall #humor

I was trying to have an insight, and all I could think of was that I'd backed myself into a corner, and the corner was me. ↗

— John Welter

#humor #love #lunchmeat #satire #softball

Girls have got balls. They're just a little higher up, that's all. ↗

— Joan Jett

#boobs #gumption #guts #humor-inspirational #joan-jett

I really am disappointed when I run into people who are angry I'm leaving office. ↗

— Matt Gonzalez

#angry #disappointed #i #into #leaving

I do believe some people can naturally act and don't know it. ↗

— Andrea Arnold

#believe #i #i do #know #naturally

So you don't speak English, you have no ID, you can't tell where you're from... that's suspicion, it's lower than probable cause. And then we have a right to call immigration and check you out. ↗

— Joe Arpaio

#cause #check #english #id #immigration

Being a hero to someone, even if it is a dog, is a feeling like no other. Though it can be frustrating, it can be the most rewarding thing to give someone a second chance at a happy life. ~From Finally Home~ ↗

— Elizabeth Parker

#dog-humor #dog-lovers #finally-home #golden-retrievers #humor