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#asshole

Read through the most famous quotes by topic #asshole




When approaching a prospective human, first ask them what their name is. * If it replies "Brains," blow its fucking head off. * If it replies "Brian," ask it again, as you may have encountered a zombie with a speech impediment, or a zombie that was mildly retarded in life. * Keep in mind that it is entirely possible that you did encounter a human named "Brian.


Etienne Guerin DeForest


#funny-quotes #humor #zombie #zombie-apocalypse #zombies

↑ top up position down The fact that I suspect I'm an asshole means I probably am not, because a real asshole doesn't think he's an asshole, does he? Therefore, by realizing that I'm an asshole, I am in fact negating that very realization, am I not? Descartes's Asshole Axiom: I think I am; therefor I'm not one.


Jonathan Tropper


#humor #jonathan-tropper #humor

Bitten? You mean you're a-" "A werewolf," said the girl. "Like everyone else here. Except you, and the asshole. And the asshole's sister.


Cassandra Clare


#clary-fray #humor #jace-wayland #maia #simon-lewis

Sometimes being a nice person is all about knowing when to be an asshole.


John Cheese


#asshole #cracked #friendship #friendship

The poor girl ws keeping that student's letter as a precious treasure, and had run to fetch it, her only treasure, because she did not want me to go away without knowing that she, too, was honestly and genuinely loved; that she, too, was addressed respectfully. No doubt that letter was destined to lie in her box and lead to nothing. But none the less, I am certain that she would keep it all her life as a precious treasure, as her pride and justification, and now at such a minute she had thought of that letter and brought it with naive pride to raise herself in my eyes that I might see, that I, too, might think well of her.


Fyodor Dostoyevsky


#belittle #ego #fyodor-dostoyevsky #judgemental #notes-from-underground

So are there any asshole guys here I can start dating?' she says. 'That's, like, my pattern.


Gillian Flynn


#dating #dating

My meat smells like cat food. Makes me want to lick my own asshole.



Jarod Kintz


#cats #food #lick #meat #food

Pain was as much a part of this life as the summer and the winter and the rain, and there was no greater asshole than the one who believed you can cure it.


Brian McGreevy


#believe #cure #life #pain #rain

I like people thinking I'm an asshole. Being an asshole is my life's vocation; I'm a goddamned asshole professional.


James Alan Gardner


#life






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