#bastard

I decided there and then to sue the bastards. ↗

— Barry Sheene

#decided #i #sue #then #there and then

Being illegitimate is a technicality. It does not mean that there is anything wrong with you. Men use "bastard" as a curse. But to use the term thus is to show that they themselves are less than a proper human being. ↗

— Theresa Breslin

#children #leonardo-da-vinci #matteo #value-of-life #life

Call me later, you’d said, so I could call you later, at night, and it is those nights I miss you, Ed, the most, on the phone, you beautiful bastard. ↗

— Daniel Handler

#break-ups #love #pain #beauty

Well, good afternoon, sunshine. How are you feeling?" "Like something the cat dragged in, then dragged back outside to leave in the rain, and mud, then the lightning hit it, and burned it, and the cat came back to tear it into pieces, before burying it. ↗

— Kimberly Montague

#bastard #betrayal #brother #car #cars

I've got kids that enjoy stealing. I've got kids that don't think about stealing one way or the other, and I've got kids that just tolerate stealing because they know they've got nothing else to do. But nobody--and I mean nobody--has ever been hungry for it like this boy. If he had a bloody gash across his throat and a physiker was trying to sew it up, Lamora would steal the needle and thread and die laughing. He...steals too much. ↗

— Scott Lynch

#locke-lamora #stealing #thieves #tolerance

In another Christmas story, Dale Pearson, evil developer, self-absorbed woman hater, and seemingly unredeemable curmudgeon, might be visited in the night by a series of ghosts who, by showing him bleak visions of Christmas future, past, and present, would bring about in him a change to generosity, kindness, and a general warmth toward his fellow man. But this is not that kind of Christmas story, so here, in not too many pages, someone is going to dispatch the miserable son of a bitch with a shovel. That's the spirit of Christmas yet to come in these parts. Ho, ho, ho. ↗

— Christopher Moore

#christmas #humor #murder #change

I decided to masturbate with shampoo instead of conditioner today. Because yolo. Things Jesus never said. ↗

— Dave Matthes

#bastard #booze #comedy #conditioner #crack

I was thinking, ‘Highly fuckable intern, twelve o’clock. Disengage, soldier. I repeat, disengage. ↗

— Christina Lauren

#beauty

Why is it that right-wing bastards always stand shoulder to shoulder in solidarity, while liberals fall out among themselves? ↗

— Yevgeny Yevtushenko

#among #bastards #fall #liberals #out

I didn't want to miss out on a chance to congratulate you on your bouncing baby boy.” Garrett’s eyes trailed over to Milo who stood tall with an arrogant smile on his face next to his father. “I’m not sure on the protocol over here, though, is it customary to celebrate bastards?” Garrett’s comment hit the mark just like he knew it would. The smile was wiped from Milo’s face, and he stalked right up to Garrett and threw a punch at his jaw. ↗

— T.E. Sivec

#bastard #burn #garrett #haha #lol