#bizarre

What does it mean to be the best? It means you have to be better than the number two guy. But what gratification is there in that? He's a loser—that’s why he's number two. ↗

— Jarod Kintz

#best #bizarre #competing #competition #competitor

I want to see an elephant hunt down a man for the sole purpose of collecting his teeth, while a chorus of typewriters sings songs that praises the bananas for their wisdom, leadership, and their high levels of potassium. ↗

— Jarod Kintz

#bizarre #dada #funny #humor #hunt

The bizarre world of cards is a world of pure power politics where rewards and punishments are meted out immediately. ↗

— Ely Culbertson

#cards #immediately #out #politics #power

It's really bizarre because no one knows this, but elephants have killed more animal trainers than any other animal. ↗

— Vin Diesel

#any #because #bizarre #elephants #killed

It was a very bizarre experience for me, to get the songs together, go in there, and try to deliver them as I would perhaps in a live setting. But I realized that I couldn't take on that coffeehouse style that I came from and go in there and burn it up. ↗

— Jason Mraz

#burn #came #deliver #experience #get

I’ve always envied flies. Think about it: you’re a fly, your name is an action, the very thing you do all the time. It’s your innate action in life, the thing you were born to do. It’s like a salesperson who was named Sell. I love that. If I ever met a salesperson who said, “Hi, I’m Sell,” I’d reply, “And I’m sold!. ↗

— Jarod Kintz

#funny #salesman #funny

If I had eyebrows like two rainbows, I’d probably make love like a leprechaun. But it’s cool, because with that pot of gold, I’d have plenty of money to pay the prostitute.
 ↗

— Jarod Kintz

#bizarre #eyebrows #funny #gold #humor

Every day is bizarre. ↗

— Mia Kirshner

#day #every #every day

A brick could be used to enhance your social status. Just affix it to the hood of your car, like a Mercedes ornament.
 ↗

— Jarod Kintz

#brick-and-blanket-iq-test #brick-and-blanket-responses #brick-and-blanket-test #brick-and-blanket-uses #funny

A brick could be used in a manner most secret. But Shh! I can't tell you. What part about secret don't you understand?
 ↗

— Jarod Kintz

#brick-and-blanket-iq-test #brick-and-blanket-responses #brick-and-blanket-test #brick-and-blanket-uses #funny