#cat

Bones didn’t share any of my qualms about suddenly holding an arm that wasn’t attached to a body anymore. He just grabbed the ghoul by his other arm and began thumping him over the head with the loose limb. I’d heard Bones threaten to beat someone with their own limb before, but I’d always assumed that was a figure of speech. Apparently not. ↗

— Jeaniene Frost

#cat #humorous #humor

I look down from the branch I'm perched on. The Careers look murderous. Now I smile.'How have things been with you?' I ask sweetly. ↗

— Suzanne Collins

#cato #clove #glimmer #humor #katniss

She smiled again. "Do you like cat?" she said. "Yes," said Richard. "I quite like cats." Anaesthesia looked relieved. "Thigh?" she asked, "or breast? ↗

— Neil Gaiman

#humor #humor

My name is Skippito Friskito. (clap-clap) I fear not a single bandito. (clap-clap) My manners are mellow, I'm sweet like the Jell-o, I get the job done, yes indeed-o. (clap-clap) ↗

— Judy Schachner

#humor #mexican #siamese-cats #skippyjon-jones #humor

Not all librarians are evil cultists. Some librarians are instead vengeful undead who want to suck your soul. ↗

— Brandon Sanderson

#humor #librarians #humor

My hobby is extreme Catholic behavior -- BEFORE the Reformation. ↗

— John Waters

#catholic #eccentric #extreme #humor #john-waters

I told them he hit on me and that I was showing him my wrestling moves. I think they maybe believed it." I pull on my seat belt and roll down the window even though it's cold. I need to be able to smell for pixies. "We can't leave until everyone's out. I want to be sure nothing happens." "Did they really believe you Devyn asks. My breath whooshes out with the reality of it and I adjust my previous statement. "I don't think so." "Well there's another lovely complication." Devyn groans. ↗

— Carrie Jones

#complications #love

Arise from sleep, old cat, And with great yawns and stretchings... Amble out for love ↗

— Kobayashi Issa

#love #sleepiness #love

Drunken men give some of the best pep talks. ↗

— Criss Jami

#best #conversation #drink #drinking #drunk

When you take advice from a cat, there are always consequences. ↗

— Elora Bishop

#cat #elora-bishop #humor #sappho-s-fables #humor