#cats

I'm more lopsided than a one legged badger!" Graypaw stopped his careful stalking to wander comically across the clearing "I will have to settle for hunting stupid mice I shall just wander up to them, and sit on them until they surrender! ↗

— Erin Hunter

#lol #wariors #warrior-cats #lol

Aubrey, crouching on a nearby counter, watched me with squinty eyes, apparently pondering why anyone would willingly immerse themselves in water ever, let alone for extended periods of time. ↗

— Richelle Mead

#fiction #georgina #romance #succubus #vampire

Name the different kinds of people,’ said Miss Lupescu. ‘Now.’ Bod thought for a moment. ‘The living,’ he said. ‘Er. The dead.’ He stopped. Then, ‘... Cats?’ he offered, uncertainly. ↗

— Neil Gaiman

#humor #humor

She smiled again. "Do you like cat?" she said. "Yes," said Richard. "I quite like cats." Anaesthesia looked relieved. "Thigh?" she asked, "or breast? ↗

— Neil Gaiman

#humor #humor

My name is Skippito Friskito. (clap-clap) I fear not a single bandito. (clap-clap) My manners are mellow, I'm sweet like the Jell-o, I get the job done, yes indeed-o. (clap-clap) ↗

— Judy Schachner

#humor #mexican #siamese-cats #skippyjon-jones #humor

Arise from sleep, old cat, And with great yawns and stretchings... Amble out for love ↗

— Kobayashi Issa

#love #sleepiness #love

Look, we need to make time, but we also need to be somewhat quiet." She faced him. "I am being quiet!" Pathik held a finger up to his lips. "Seriously. Quite. You don't really want to attract a lot of attention out here if you can help it." Rachel didn't like the sound of that. "Are there sheep-cats? ↗

— Teri Hall

#humor #line #sheep #teri-hall #humor

Then stop being a know-it-all lionpaw retorted You're not my mentor so stay out of my fur. Lionpaw at Berrynose in Outcast pg 67 ↗

— Erin Hunter

#warriors-cats #humor

Oh man, Alex. That's sad. Seriously, mate, go get yourself laid." "What?" He gave Baldrick a quick kiss on his little head--he didn't care how stupid he looked, he loved his ugly cat--and put him down on his kitty bed in the corner. "Isn't that what single sad people do--get cats when they've given up on human companionship? ↗

— L.A. Gilbert

#the-truth-about-cats #love

One of my biggest fears is that I'm going to die alone in my home, and my cats will eat me because I am too dead to open their food cans. ↗

— Kelli Jae Baeli

#death #die #fear #food #humor