#child

There is a tiger in my room,' said Frances. 'Did he bite you?' said Father. 'No,' said Frances. 'Did he scratch you?' said Mother. 'No,' said Frances. 'Then he is a friendly tiger,' said Father. 'He will not hurt you. Go back to sleep. ↗

— Russell Hoban

#children-s-literature #humor #stalling #tigers #humor

We grow up opposing our parents only to become like them enough to oppose our children who behave as we once did—a reminder of how dreadful we were toward those now vindicated grandparents. And you thought God had no sense of humor. ↗

— Richelle E. Goodrich

#god #karma #learning #parenthood #parents

Before I had kids, I always found it funny how people would talk about their children like they were the cutest things on the planet and how every little thing they did was endlessly fascinating. Now that I've had kids, I can say with certainty that, my children really are the cutest things on this planet and every little thing they do is endlessly fascinating... ↗

— Jennifer Miller

#humor #parenting #funny

An ordinary man can enjoy breakfasting on juice and rye bread. But when you are underfed, scorned, miserable or just plain bored, you don’t want to eat dull wholesome food. You want something a little more colourful, exciting, tastier, meatier and juicier. ↗

— R.S. Vern

#animated #cat-haee #cathaee #children-s-books #dark

I blew that clay pigeon to smithereens. I don't know why Mum got so upset. According to Uncle Andrew she's a crack shot herself. But she says I'm too young. What I'd like to know is how old does a person have to be before they get to do all the fun stuff? ↗

— R.L. LaFevers

#humor #supernatural #humor

Gerald's look assured her that he and the others would be as near angels as children could be without ceasing to be human. ↗

— E. Nesbit

#humor #phonies #humor

I'm married. And pregnant. ↗

— Edan Lepucki

#impromptu-humor #marriage #what-the-hell #humor

It was nice to hear the voices of little children at play, provided you took care to be far enough away not to hear what they were actually saying. ↗

— Terry Pratchett

#hogfather #humor #terry-pratchett #humor

...indeed, with the Radletts, you never could tell. Why, for instance, would Victoria bellow like a bull and half kill Jassy whenever Jassy said, in a certain tone of voice, pointing her finger with a certain look, "Fancy?" I think they hardly knew why, themselves. ↗

— Nancy Mitford

#humor #nonsense #humor

I was sorry to lose it, and if you make me another one, I promise not to get taken captive by bandits and have to use it to save my life. ↗

— Shannon Hale

#fantasy #humor #romance #humor