#clone

If that isn’t depressing enough, my hard-earned dollars, though paper thin, are getting thinner and thinner as their purchasing power is diluted by the cloning process euphemistically crowned “Quantitative Easing.” I’m no Casanova Economist, but it seems to me that money is like women: You can’t clone your way to sexual prosperity. With that said, I’m certainly not against trying. ↗

— Jarod Kintz

#funny #prosperity #quantitate-easing #funny

If I own a business, I work for myself. And if I have no revenue, I work for free. That’s not slavery. That’ll be the case when I employ 1,000,000,000 clones of myself. I won’t pay them, but they are me, so it’s not slavery. ↗

— Jarod Kintz

#clones #slavery #business

I need to protect myself from myself. And my clone. ↗

— Jarod Kintz

#protection #life

Having a clone would make it so much easier - it would be great to send a clone to a TV station when I have to get up at 4am. ↗

— Rachel Stevens

#easier #get #great #having #i

As much as I want to make love to you, I’d rather make love to your clone. ↗

— Jarod Kintz

#funny #humor #love #age

If I had a clone, he’d better be my equal, and not my better. Can you imagine how I’d feel being jealous of myself? ↗

— Jarod Kintz

#jealousy #change

I want to be the first and second man to dance on the moon. No, I won’t moonwalk. But I will Cha Cha—with my clone. ↗

— Jarod Kintz

#dancing #funny #humor #moon #change

It’s not really masturbating if you’re jacking your clone off. It’s more like politics. ↗

— Jarod Kintz

#politics #change

My clones better not wear invisible cloaks. How am I supposed to find myself as a person if I can’t even find my clones? ↗

— Jarod Kintz

#identity #invisibility #invisible #person #change

If you drive the same car as me, and have been in a fender bender, I’ll think, “Boy, that’s what my car could look like.” Same with clones. If one of my clones got beat up, I’ll think, “Boy, that could have been me. Better me squared than me. ↗

— Jarod Kintz

#change