#clone

If you drive the same car as me, and have been in a fender bender, I’ll think, “Boy, that’s what my car could look like.” Same with clones. If one of my clones got beat up, I’ll think, “Boy, that could have been me. Better me squared than me. ↗

— Jarod Kintz

#change

It’s my birthday, who could be calling me? Probably my clone, wondering why he hasn’t been born yet. 
 ↗

— Jarod Kintz

#birthday #born #clone #communicate #communication

If you had a clone, I wouldn’t care which one of you two I dated. It’d be the same thing to me, but not to you. ↗

— Jarod Kintz

#dating

When I saw you, I saw love. When I saw you naked, I saw lust. When I saw you with my clone in a dream, I saw the future. ↗

— Jarod Kintz

#funny #future #humor #love #lust

I believe the love shared between two people shouldn’t be secretly shared with a third. Not even if I am vacationing on the moon, and that third person is my clone. ↗

— Jarod Kintz

#funny #love #funny

Love one person at a time, that’s the motto I’ll try to get my clones to live by. ↗

— Jarod Kintz

#clones #funny #humor #love #motto

I'm the kind of guy who puts other people first. Particularly if there’s danger up ahead. Now I’m not saying I’m any more cowardly than the next man, unless that next man is any other man besides my clone. ↗

— Jarod Kintz

#cowardly #danger #funny #funny

Yesterday, at the company party, I made a joke and everyone laughed and said, “Hey, now there’s the Jarod Kintz we all know and love.” and I smiled, but inside I thought, “Actually, the Jarod Kintz you know and love was my clone, who I had to murder because he kept eating all my leftovers. ↗

— Jarod Kintz

#clones #funny #humor #laughed #murder

I killed my clone and I hid his body behind every mirror I’ll ever step in front of. I’m always surprised to see him, and I never fail to brush his teeth or gaze at his decomposing body. ↗

— Jarod Kintz

#funny #kill #funny

If I were to come back in another life, I’d like to be reincarnated as my own clone. 
 ↗

— Jarod Kintz

#clones #life #reincarnation #life