#clone

Who inspires me to write? My clone. I just want him to appreciate me as a person. ↗

— Jarod Kintz

#funny #humor #funny

I’m thinking of moving my cloning factory to someplace less visible, like in front of a fogged mirror. ↗

— Jarod Kintz

#factory #funny #humor #funny

On your birthday you should throw me a party. This is my advice for everybody, especially my clones. ↗

— Jarod Kintz

#birthday #clone #funny #humor #funny

I feel like I could be the best, but I’m not going to openly admit that. At least not to any of my clones. ↗

— Jarod Kintz

#clone #funny #humor #funny

Agatha and I rode off towards the sunset together. On a unicycle. Two bodies, one wheel, one seat, one love. And tomorrow Agatha’s clone and I will ride off towards the sunrise together. On a bicycle. Two bodies, two wheels, one seat, two loves, one chance to make our lives really ours, despite being a derivative. ↗

— Jarod Kintz

#clone #love #love

I killed my clone. It’s not murder, it’s partial suicide. I want a stiff drink, but not alcohol. I want formaldehyde. ↗

— Jarod Kintz

#humor #murder #humor

To love someone as much as you love yourself, that is the ideal. Especially if that someone is your clone.
 ↗

— Jarod Kintz

#clone #funny #humor #love #age

Startled, she said, “Oh, I thought you were somebody else.” “No,” I said, “I’m not somebody else—but my clone is.”
 ↗

— Jarod Kintz

#fright #funny #humor #people #relationships

If you expect others to think for you, then you expect others to live your life for you. And I’m sorry, but the only person I’ll let live my life for me is my clone. He thinks like me, so I’m OK with him thinking for me. ↗

— Jarod Kintz

#expectations #think #thinking #change

You can’t be the best all the time. But that’s what clones are for—to be you while you sleep. ↗

— Jarod Kintz

#sleep #change