#clone

Agatha and I rode off towards the sunset together. On a unicycle. Two bodies, one wheel, one seat, one love. And tomorrow Agatha’s clone and I will ride off towards the sunrise together. On a bicycle. Two bodies, two wheels, one seat, two loves, one chance to make our lives really ours, despite being a derivative. ↗

— Jarod Kintz

#clone #love #love

I killed my clone. It’s not murder, it’s partial suicide. I want a stiff drink, but not alcohol. I want formaldehyde. ↗

— Jarod Kintz

#humor #murder #humor

To love someone as much as you love yourself, that is the ideal. Especially if that someone is your clone.
 ↗

— Jarod Kintz

#clone #funny #humor #love #age

Startled, she said, “Oh, I thought you were somebody else.” “No,” I said, “I’m not somebody else—but my clone is.”
 ↗

— Jarod Kintz

#fright #funny #humor #people #relationships

If you expect others to think for you, then you expect others to live your life for you. And I’m sorry, but the only person I’ll let live my life for me is my clone. He thinks like me, so I’m OK with him thinking for me. ↗

— Jarod Kintz

#expectations #think #thinking #change

You can’t be the best all the time. But that’s what clones are for—to be you while you sleep. ↗

— Jarod Kintz

#sleep #change

I want to drown in all the ink used to write positive things about my clone and how great he is. ↗

— Jarod Kintz

#clones #funny #greatness #humor #ink

When I see a poor person I think of me, and then I think, maybe I should pay my clones for all the work they do for me. Then I think, nah, they’re only slaves. Through my clones, I am a slave to myself.
 ↗

— Jarod Kintz

#clones #funny #humor #poor #slaves