#comedian

I'm a comedian, for God's sake. Viewers shouldn't trust me. And you know what? They're hip enough to know they shouldn't trust me. I'm just doing stand-up comedy. ↗

— Dennis Miller

#comedy #doing #enough #god #hip

I mean, the death in the late eighties and early nineties really shook out a lot of hacks. The pond just sort of dried up for a lot of really bad comedians. ↗

— Patton Oswalt

#comedians #death #dried #early #eighties

Even when I lecture per se, I am a joke comedian, I can do the voices. ↗

— Dave Pelzer

#comedian #even #i #i am #i can

Shut up…let me tell you, LET ME. Every time I look at your face or even remember it, it wrecks me. And the way you are with me and you’re just fun and you shit all over me and you make fun of me and you’re real. I don’t have enough time in any day to think about you enough...I don’t even think about women anymore. I think about you. ↗

— Louis C.K.

#louis-ck #love #romance #unrequited-love #love

If you're billed as a comedian, people will accept anything you say as light-hearted and not with intent behind it. ↗

— Megan Fox

#anything #behind #billed #comedian #intent

From 1936 on, I have taken more falls than any other 20 comedians put together. From the time I was 21, I've taken them on everything from clay courts to cement to wood floors, coming off pianos, going out a two-story window, landing on Dean, falling into the rough. You do that and you're gonna have problems. ↗

— Jerry Lewis

#cement #clay #comedians #coming #courts

I've been pitching a show of five female stand-up comedians through the generations, from Phyllis Diller to Amy Schumer, so when I got an e-mail asking me if I would participate in the Women in Comedy Festival, I was thrilled. ↗

— Wendy Liebman

#asking #been #comedians #comedy #e-mail

I took an acting class. After the first day, the teacher quit, so they said take another. When I saw 'How to be a Stand-up Comedian,' it resonated. I realized I'd rather make 200 people laugh than make one person cry. ↗

— Wendy Liebman

#acting class #after #another #class #comedian

Sort of' is such a harmless thing to say... sort of. It's just a filler. Sort of... it doesn't really mean anything. But after certain things, sort of means everything. Like... after "I love you"... or "You're going to live"... or "It's a boy! ↗

— Demetri Martin

#comedy #equivocation #funny #humor #funny

But if applause throws off your timing, then you're not the kind of comedian I would like to see. All you have to do is stand there and take it. ↗

— Jay Mohr

#comedian #i #kind #like #off