#comedy

It's easier to play a dim character, for me, because I have a natural bent for comedy. It's not intrinsic for me to be crafty, so I would have to go outside for a source of origin. I think of myself as pretty dim. ↗

— Stephen Root

#bent #character #comedy #crafty #dim

I'm gonna be percy Jackson when I grow up," she told Hazel solemnly. Hazel Smiled and ruffled her hair. "That's a good thing to be, Julia." "Although," Frank said. "Frank Zhang would be good too. ↗

— Rick Riordan

#frank #hazel #hero #humor #inspirational

When you do a comedy, the goals are much clearer to me. ↗

— Luke Wilson

#comedy #goals #me #much #you

You must have been pretty sure, considering you could have killed me." "I was ninety percent sure." "I see." Clary said. There must have been something in her voice, because he turned to look at her. Her hand cracked across his face, a slap that rocked him back on his heels. He put his hand to his cheek, more surprised than in pain. "What the heck was that for?" "The other ten percent. ↗

— Cassandra Clare

#funny #humor #funny

I shouted the perfect words to scare him off. It was just the delivery (and only the delivery) that made me sound like a twelve-year-old girl with pee running down her leg. I felt dirty and stupid. ↗

— Graham Parke

#humor #literature #humor

The stalker, meanwhile, stepped into the road. Didn’t even check for traffic. There wasn’t any, but something told me this was lucky for traffic rather than the stalker. ↗

— Graham Parke

#humor #philosophy #humor

The reason people use a crucifix against vampires is that vampires are allergic to bull shit. ↗

— Richard Pryor

#richard-pryor #stand-up-comedy #vampires #humor

I don't believe in virgin sacrifice. It encourages promiscuity at an early age ↗

— Adrianne Ambrose

#barbarian #comedy #fantasy #parody #age

Excuse me, your attention please.” He waited until the whole floor had stopped what it was doing and turned to face him. For a split second his impulse control kicked in, but by then his mouth was fully engaged. “For the record, Claire Marsden and I are not having sex. ↗

— Sarah Mayberry

#humour #romance #romantic-comedy #funny

[The cats] scamper in front of my legs, causing me to fall and face plant into whatever furniture is closest. They especially like to play this game when I’m carrying piping hot coffee. ↗

— Weston Locher

#comedy #essay #funny #humor #funny