#d

Will you accompany me in this dance?” he said, bowing and holding out his hand. “No, thank you.” Miri smiled. The prince frowned and looked and the chief delegate as if for assistance. Miri laughed self consciously. “I, uh, I was teasing. ↗

— Shannon Hale

#fantasy #humor #romance #humor

Theatre director: a person engaged by the management to conceal the fact that the players cannot act. ↗

— James Agate

#cannot #conceal #director #engaged #fact

Never underestimate the allure of the Goodwill. ↗

— Stacey Jay

#humor #shopping #humor

You freaking bit me," I said, my voice hoarse. "You're lucky I don't call animal control. ↗

— Jayde Scott

#humor #jayde-scott #vampire #humor

If you make friends with yourself, you'll never be alone. ↗

— Maxwell Maltz

#friends #friendship #loneliness #solitude #friendship

That wasn't Josh Hartnett; that kid was eighteen years old," Kate said. I told you, they age slower out here. It's all the fresh California air," Val replied. Yes, because that's exactly what Los Angeles is known for," Kate said dryly. "Clean air. ↗

— Julie James

#humor #los-angeles #age

That, they never could lay their heads upon their pillows; that, they could never tolerate the idea of their wives laying their heads upon their pillows; that, they could never endure the notion of their children laying their heads on their pillows; in short , that there never more could be , for them or theirs , any laying of heads upon pillows at all , unless the prisioner's head was taken off. The Attorney General during the trial of Mr. Darnay ↗

— Charles Dickens

#dickens #funny #heads #humor #funny

You can never be wise unless you love reading. ↗

— Samuel Johnson

#life

When we got to the moron who was sitting in the only path to the stairway, Adam caught my waist and lifted me over before stepping over the man himself. “Scott?” Adam said as we headed upstairs. “Yeah?” “Unless someone shoots you, skins you, and throws the results on the floor, I don’t want to see you lying in the walkway again.” “Yessir! ↗

— Patricia Briggs

#humor #mercy-thompson #silver-borne #threats #humor

Attacking the person instead of the argument is condemned in logic, widespread in physics, and not used nearly enough in humanism. ↗

— Bauvard

#funny #humor #funny