#d

You've got an awfully kissable mouth. ↗

— F. Scott Fitzgerald

#flapper #humor #kiss #kissing #kissing-quotes

Sometimes if you have a difficult decision to make, just stall until the answer presents itself. ↗

— Tina Fey

#humor #humor

Her soul is clear of any red seals, but that won't last long, ' cause Papa's come to play. ↗

— Victoria Scott

#humor #the-collector #humor

Believe me, when you die, it's everybody else's but your problem (The Gift) ↗

— Ceclia Adhern

#death

I cook to inspire my husband to pay attention to me. ↗

— Sonia Rumzi

#cooking #husband #inspirational

Before I had kids, I always found it funny how people would talk about their children like they were the cutest things on the planet and how every little thing they did was endlessly fascinating. Now that I've had kids, I can say with certainty that, my children really are the cutest things on this planet and every little thing they do is endlessly fascinating... ↗

— Jennifer Miller

#humor #parenting #funny

If a couple has their picture taken at a wedding or other social gathering, and the woman looks hot, her guy could be blinking, chewing, or even mid-sneeze, and she’ll still display it on her desk at work. ↗

— Brian P. Cleary

#observation #observational-comedy #humor

Like sheep, sidhe-seers herd by nature, until you *want* them to go somewhere. Then they're all fluffy bottoms and broken. ↗

— Karen Marie Moning

#humor #humor

In my day the principal concerns of university students were sex, smoking dope, rioting and learning. Learning was something you did only when the first three weren't available. ↗

— Bill Bryson

#learning #students #humor

Sucks to be left out of adolescence, sort of like getting locked in the closet on Venus when the sun appears for the first time in a hundred years. ↗

— Junot Díaz

#humor #nerdiness #ray-bradbury #science-fiction #humor