#d

Laughter is the sound of the soul dancing. My soul probably looks like Fred Astaire. ↗

— Jarod Kintz

#fred-astaire #humor #laughter #soul #sound

I'm calm," Rachel insisted. "Every time I'm around you, some monsters attack us. What's to be nervous about?" "Look," I said. "I'm sorry about the band room. I hope they didn't kick you our or anything." "Nah. They asked me a lot of questions about you. I played dumb." "Was it hard?" Annabeth asked. ↗

— Rick Riordan

#dumb #humor #insult #percy-jackson #rachel-dare

I've always thought people would find a lot more pleasure in their routines if they burst into song at significant moments. ↗

— John Barrowman

#happiness #humor #music #humor

People assume that time is a strict progression of cause to effect, but *actually* from a non-linear, non-subjective viewpoint - it's more like a big ball of wibbly wobbly... time-y wimey... stuff. ↗

— Steven Moffat

#humor #time-travel #humor

Basia coquum," Simon said. "Or whatever their motto is." "It's 'Descensus Averno facilis est.' 'The descent into hell is easy," said Alec. "You just said "Kiss the cook." "Dammit," said Simon. "I knew Jace was screwing with me. ↗

— Cassandra Clare

#humor #simon-lewis #humor

Y'all smoke to enjoy it. I smoke to die. ↗

— John Green

#humor #wise #humor

We’ll never survive!” “Nonsense. You’re only saying that because no one ever has. ↗

— William Goldman

#humor #optimism #survival #humor

Procrastinate now, don't put it off. ↗

— Ellen DeGeneres

#paradox #procrastination #humor

Calvin: I used to hate writing assignments, but now I enjoy them. I realized that the purpose of writing is to inflate weak ideas, obscure poor reasoning, and inhibit clarity. With a little practice, writing can be an intimidating and impenetrable fog! Want to see my book report? Hobbes: (Reading Calvin's paper) "The Dynamics of Interbeing and Monological Imperatives in Dick and Jane: A Study in Psychic Transrelational Gender modes." Calvin: Academia, here I come! ↗

— Bill Watterson

#education

He hoped and prayed that there wasn't an afterlife. Then he realized there was a contradiction involved here and merely hoped that there wasn't an afterlife. ↗

— Douglas Adams

#paradox #religion #humor