#do

Just give me a comfortable couch, a dog, a good book, and a woman. Then if you can get the dog to go somewhere and read the book, I might have a little fun. ↗

— Groucho Marx

#humor #innuendo #naughty #humor

The advice that I usually give to young actors is that if you can create a character for the stage and keep that character fresh for at least 6 months that means you're doing the show eight times a week. ↗

— Joe Morton

#character #create #doing #eight #fresh

I've committed to nothing...and that's just suicide...by tiny, tiny increments. ↗

— Nick Hornby

#dark-humor #fiction #personal-insight #rob-gordon #humor

That woman doesn't have the sense God gave a retarded flea. ↗

— Nora Roberts

#life #wisdom #humor

Did you see me disarm Hermione, Harry?" "Only once" said Hermione stung. "I got you loads more then you got me-" "I did not only get you once, I got you at least three times-" "Well if you're counting the one where you tripped over your own feet and knocked the wand out of my hand- ↗

— J.K. Rowling

#harry-potter #hermione-granger #humor #ron-weasley #humor

Careful. We don't want to learn from this. ↗

— Bill Watterson

#humor

It feels quite cool, in a mad way, to be someone who skulks about in the shadows. ↗

— Peter Baynham

#cool #feels #mad #quite #shadows

I was supposed to be waiting up here when you got back, only your Phoenix lot got in the way...” “Yes, they do that,” said Dumbledore. ↗

— J.K. Rowling

#humor #malfoy #order-of-the-phoenix #sarcasm #humor

Percy?" Annabeth gripped his arm. "Oh, bad," he muttered. "Bad. Bad." He looked across the table at Frank and Hazel. "You guys remember Polybotes?" "The giant who invaded Camp Jupiter," Hazel said. "The anti-Poseidon you whacked in the head with a Terminus statue. Yes, I think I remember ↗

— Rick Riordan

#camp-jupiter #hazel-levesque #heroes-of-olympus #humor #percy-jackson

If we were to hit the level that Metallica or somebody like that hit, we'd have had a hard time dealing with it. I think it would have been our doom. It's hard for anybody at that level. ↗

— Jerry Only

#been #dealing #doom #had #hard