#drinking

Most important, though, I had to wait until I found the perfect traveling/eating/drinking/napping companion. And I did finally find him, two years ago - my Brazilian-born, French-speaking, wine-worshipping, tripe-consuming, uncomplaining traveler of a sweetheart. ↗

— Elizabeth Gilbert

#companion #did #drinking #eating #finally

I used to think drinking was the only way to be happy. Now I know there is no way to be happy. ↗

— Laura Kightlinger

#drinking #happy #i #know #now

Tequila. Straight. There's a real polite drink. You keep drinking until you finally take one more and it just won't go down. Then you know you've reached your limit. ↗

— Lee Marvin

#drink #drinking #finally #go #just

I have seen great jazz musicians die obscure and drinking themselves to death and not really being able to get any work and working in small, funky jazz clubs. ↗

— Sonny Rollins

#any #being #clubs #death #die

I peer through the spectral, polluted, nicotine-sodden windows of my sock at these old lollopers in their kiddie gear. Go home, I say. Go home, lie down, and eat lots of potatoes. I had three handjobs yesterday. None was easy. Sometimes you really have to buckle down to it, as you do with all forms of exercise. It's simply a question of willpower. Anyone who's got the balls to stand there and tell me that a handjob isn't exercise just doesn't know what he's talking about. I almost had a heart-attack during number three. I take all kinds of other exercise too. I walk up and down the stairs. I climb into cabs and restaurant booths. I hike to the Butcher's Arms and the London Apprentice. I cough a lot. I throw up pretty frequently, which really takes it out of you. I sneeze, and hit the tub and the can. I get in and out of bed, often several times a day. ↗

— Martin Amis

#exercise #masturbation #home

To alcohol! The cause of... and solution to... all of life's problems ↗

— Matt Groening

#drinking #homer #humor #humor

I don’t drink water, because if water can erode rock, think what it can do to flesh.
 ↗

— Jarod Kintz

#drinking #erode #erosion #flesh #geology

I tried that too, you know. After ... my family was murdered, and I was waiting for justice, I tried to hide inside a bottle. But some men, Tony, [..] are not small enough to fit into a bottle. ↗

— Aleksandr Voinov

#family

I would pour you a glass of wine, but wouldn’t it be more romantic if you sipped it out of my armpit? ↗

— Jarod Kintz

#alcohol #drinking #foreplay #funny #humor

Instead of a Lemonade Stand, I should open up a “You know what I can’t stand?” Stand. I’ll sell rants in small, medium, and large.
 ↗

— Jarod Kintz

#drink #drinking #entrepreneur #entrepreneurship #funny