#drunkenness

I’m a lifeguard at a brewery. When someone falls in a vat, I jump in after them and start gulping. It makes me feel good after letting people drown. ↗

— Bauvard

#funny #humor #lifeguards #funny

If his drunkenness had legs, it would be Alexander the Great and conquer the known world. Then it would puke for a week into a solid gold toilet it stole from Zeus's guest room. ↗

— Richard Kadrey

#funny #funny

Drunken men give some of the best pep talks. ↗

— Criss Jami

#best #conversation #drink #drinking #drunk

One more drink and I'll be under the host. ↗

— Mae West

#drinking #drunkenness #drinking

Yes, madam, I am drunk. But in the morning I will be sober and you will still be ugly.
 ↗

— Winston Churchill

#drunkenness #retort #classics

Writing a novel is one of those modern rites of passage, I think, that lead us from an innocent world of contentment, drunkenness, and good humor, to a state of chronic edginess and the perpetual scanning of bank statements. ↗

— J. G. Ballard

#chronic #contentment #drunkenness #good #humor

The proper behavior all through the holiday season is to be drunk. This drunkenness culminates on New Year's Eve, when you get so drunk you kiss the person you're married to. ↗

— P. J. O'Rourke

#drunk #drunkenness #eve #get #holiday

I'm not drunk, just a little stoned. ↗

— Gerard Way

#drugs #drunkenness #alcohol

Drunkenness is temporary suicide. ↗

— Bertrand Russell

#suicide #temporary

Could man be drunk for ever       With liquor, love, or fights, Lief should I rouse at morning       And lief lie down of nights. But men at whiles are sober       And think by fits and starts, And if they think, they fasten       Their hands upon their hearts. ↗

— A.E. Housman

#sobriety #love