#er

A brick and a blanket are the perfect symbols for the superhero Captain Dense. ↗

— Nicole McKay

#brick-and-blanket-responses #brick-and-blanket-test #brick-and-blanket-uses #funny #humor

Instead of putting flowers in books to flatten them you can use a brick. ↗

— Nicole McKay

#brick-and-blanket-iq-test #brick-and-blanket-responses #brick-and-blanket-test #brick-and-blanket-uses #flowers

Renaldo once made a sex tape, and even fully erect, he still had to shoot it four times just to get some "footage. ↗

— Jarod Kintz

#fiction #funny #humor #movies #sex

Blankets have been used by companies for years for enterprise risk management because it is much easier to cover up problems than it is to identify and fix them. ↗

— Amy Summers

#brick-and-blanket-responses #brick-and-blanket-test #brick-and-blanket-uses #business #enterprise-risk-management

It’s true—there are only, like, two songs about rainbows, including that one. He should be asking why there are so few songs about rainbows. ↗

— Cheryl Cory

#funny #humor #kermit #muppets #music

Ish #21 "Stop saying the only meat you eat is chicken. It's still meat! ↗

— Regina Griffin

#funny-but-true #funny-quotes #humerous #humor #funny

I’m a bona fide bon vivant. Tonight, I gave the toast. I told everyone it was spread with butter, but it was actually margarine. ↗

— Benson Bruno

#funny #humor #sincerity #funny

I wish I knew what you were talking about," she returned. "Where's the pin?" "Pin?" "Yes. Pin. To fasten the diaper. The kid can't hold the thing up with two hands. ↗

— Emma Goldrick

#funny

What was that?” I croaked. Akhol sidestepped into my view and towered over us. “It was a Demon.” “But you said—” “I know what I said,” Akhol cut in sharply, rubbing his eyes. “There was something wrong with it. Like the Demon had adapted to the darkness and water.” I shivered. “Did he have a ring that he called ‘my precious’?” I joked to try and lighten the mood. I didn’t get a good look at the Demon, but my mind had no problems picturing Gollum. They stared at me blankly. ↗

— Laura Kreitzer

#joke #timeless-series #funny

People worried too much about their children. Suffering when you're young is good for you. It immunized your body and soul... ↗

— Jeannette Walls

#kids-funny #parenting #suffering #funny