#er

Civilized men are more discourteous than savages because they know they can be impolite without having their skulls split, as a general thing. ↗

— Robert E. Howard

#civilized #general #having #know #men

You smell good," he whispered into my neck. He was warm against me. Instinctively, I arched back into him and smiled. "Really?" "Mmm-hmm. Delicious. Like bacon. ↗

— Michelle Hodkin

#humor #mara-dyer #noah-shaw #ya #humor

A girl’s got to use what she’s given and I’m not going to make a guy drool the way a Britney video does. So I take it to extremes. I don’t say I dress sexily on stage - what I do is so extreme. It’s meant to make guys think: ‘I don’t know if this is sexy or just weird. ↗

— Lady Gaga

#fashion #feminism #gender #humor #sexy

Kronos would be 10 times more powerful. His very presence would incinerate you. And once he achieves this he will empower the other Titans. They are weak, compared to what they soon will become, unless you can stop them, the world will fall, the gods will die, and I will never achieve a perfect score on this stupid machine. ↗

— Rick Riordan

#humor #kronos #packman #percy-jackson #humor

Everywhere is walking distance if you have the time. ↗

— Steven Wright

#perspective #walking #humor

Two hundred Romans, and no one’s got a pen? Never mind!" He slung his M16 onto his back and pulled out a hand grenade. There were many screaming Romans. Then the hand grenade morphed into a ballpoint pen, and Mars began to write. Frank looked at Percy with wide eyes. He mouthed: Can your sword do grenade form? Percy mouthed back, No. Shut up. ↗

— Rick Riordan

#frank-zhang #heroes-of-olympus #humor #mars #percy-jackson

Is there any point asking what you're going to make me do on Sunday?" "Not really." Okay. "Is there any point asking what you're going to do to me?" He grinned wickedly. "Not really." Fabulous. "Does it involve the use of a safe word?" "That will depend entirely on you." Noah moved impossibly closer, just inches away. A few freckles disappeared into the scruff on his jaw. "I'll be gentle," Noah added. My breath caught in my throat as he looked at me from beneath those lashes, ruining me. I narrowed my eyes at him. "You're evil." In response, Noah smiled, and raised his finger to gently tap the tip of my nose. "And you're mine," he said, then walked away. ↗

— Michelle Hodkin

#humor #mara-dyer #noah-shaw #sexy #ya

They say sarcasm is the lowest form of wit," Valkyrie said. China glanced at her. "They've obviously never met me. ↗

— Derek Landy

#humor #sarcasm #skuldugerry-pleasant #wit #humor

I have only made this letter longer because I have not had the time to make it shorter." (Letter 16, 1657) ↗

— Blaise Pascal

#conciseness #correspondence #humor #letters #pithy

I don't think you should be an Auror, Harry," said Luna unexpectedly. Everybody looked at her. "The Aurors are part of the Rotfang Conspiracy, I thought everyone knew that. They're working to bring down the Ministry of Magic from within using a mixture of dark magic and gum disease. ↗

— J.K. Rowling

#conspiracy #gum-disease #harry-potter #humor #luna-lovegood