#funny

Yes, I'm back," he said, "And look who I ran into." Horace grinned at him. "i hope you ran into him hard." "As hard as I could. ↗

— John Flanagan

#funny

It’s fairly standard. Also, I’m fourteen. Also, your beard’s stupid.” “Isn’t this fun?” Skulduggery said brightly. “The three of us getting along so well. ↗

— Derek Landy

#crux #funny #stupid #funny

Mr. Right is coming, but he's in Africa and he's walking. ↗

— Oprah Winfrey

#funny

He thinks things through too much. ↗

— Stephenie Meyer

#funny

I'm so excited. I just bought a new file cabinet, some manila folders, some sticky note pads, and a few highlighters, and I think I'm finally ready to enter into organized crime. ↗

— Jarod Kintz

#organized-crime #funny

I watch the Eruptions. Mount Dad, long dormant, now considered armed and dangerous. Mount Saint Mom, oozing lava, spitting flame. Warn the villagers to run into the sea. ↗

— Laurie Halse Anderson

#funny #funny

CONFESSION NO. 18 Girls just want to have fun…and live to tell about it the next day. ↗

— Ronda Thompson

#funny

And when demigods use cell phones, the signals agitate every monster within a hundred miles. It's like sending up a flare: Here I am! Please rearrange my face! ↗

— Rick Riordan

#rick-riordan #funny

I like stepping into the future. Therefore, I look for doorknobs. ↗

— Mark Rosen

#funny #future #funny

I think the best time to stare off into space is when you’re going 65 on a motorcycle, provided you’re wearing your astronaut’s helmet. ↗

— Jarod Kintz

#fantasy #funny #motorcycle #space #funny