#funny

Who says you only get one? If you're lucky, you will meet The One, The Two, The Three.....and so on. Nesta ↗

— Cathy Hopkins

#soul-mates #the-one #dating

All he'd done was lose her underwear and practically get her blown up. Hell. This had to be the absolute worst first date of her life. ↗

— Tara Janzen

#humour #romance #romantic-suspense #dating

Um...is that thing tame?" Frank said. The horse whinnied angrily. "I don't think so," Percy guessed. "He just said, 'I will trample you to death, silly Chinese Canadian baby man'. ↗

— Rick Riordan

#silly-chinese-canadian-baby-man #death

And they all lived happily ever after (barring death, divorce, arrest for tax fraud, that incident with the pool boy...) ↗

— Sarah Rees Brennan

#death

Death is too inevitable not to defy, life too fearful and uncertain to embrace. ↗

— Bauvard

#funny #humor #life #death

If someone invited you to a flash mob, would you wear a bra? ↗

— Jarod Kintz

#funny #funny

The brain can be a dangerous thing. Even more so if you haven't got one. ↗

— Dave Courtney

#humour #smiling #death

Mom always said I was born to sit in the electric chair, but I'm proving her wrong. I'm going to die on my knees, begging for my life. ↗

— Bauvard

#execution #funny #humor #death

I miss Agatha like green misses yellow and blue. She made me who I am. If not for her I’d probably be burnt orange right now. If orange is the color of fire, what is burnt orange? Is that like burning fire? How do you burn something that is itself fire? That’s like asking how do you kill death? ↗

— Jarod Kintz

#random #death

Water is very bad for one’s health. People in third world countries seem to drink nothing but water, and they are always dying. ↗

— Bauvard

#funny #health #humor #third-world #water