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#funny

Read through the most famous quotes by topic #funny




On March 5th, I'm having my birthday celebration. The party starts at midnight, and ends at 12:01 AM. Don't be late! ↗


— Jarod Kintz


#funny #funny

I believe it’s always better to share the thing itself than the reason for sharing. Unless that thing happens to be something abstract, like a reason. Like my grandpa once muttered, “I don’t need a reason to have a reason.” Actually, I have no idea what he said since he was muttering. ↗


— Jarod Kintz


#funny #muttering #reason #funny

You can call me Grandpa, if that does it for you. ↗


— R.K. Lilley


#funny #funny

People like her because she's like a breath of fresh air. Because in the fifth book it gets so dark and Harry's always cross and then every time Luna comes in all the tension goes and she makes you laugh because she's so funny and really honest. I don't know how much I'm like her, there are some similarities but I'm more determined than her. ↗


— Evanna Lynch


#always #because #book #breath #comes

Jose: Do not drop me senor Jeff:i wont drop you,jose Jose:then i be jose jalapeno on the floor Peanut:do a little tap dance and we got salsa! Jeff:Thats terrible! Peanut:not with the right chips its not Jeff:stop it! im sorry jose jose:its okay jeff: okay Jose:ill kick his ass later peanut:i'll turn ur ass into guacamole jeff: stop it! peanut: i will stir u with ur own stick! jeff:stop it! peanut: this is the way we stir the guac stir the guac stir the guac. OLE!! ↗


— Jeff Dunham


#funny

I like doing a funny show where I don't have to act and fall in love with a girl. ↗


— Norm MacDonald


#doing #fall #funny #girl #i

I had to say it gave me a warm feeling to picture Meredith Winslow spending twenty years or so in an ill fitting orange jumpsuit, cozying up to a great big girl named Beulah ↗


— Kate Carlisle


#funny #kate-carlisle #funny

Procrastination is the art of keeping up with yesterday. ↗


— Don Marquis


#art #keeping #procrastination #up #yesterday

The pockmarked and chalk-white sidewalk was like the surface of the moon, and I felt like Neil Armstrong as I walked along in my space boots and white helmet with my visor flipped down. Of course in zero gravity, Neil probably had a more impressive erection than I did at that moment. ↗


— Jarod Kintz


#funny

I blew the love trumpet until my cheeks were blue. Then I paid 34 bucks for a taxicab ride home so I could admire my receding hairline in the mirror. ↗


— Jarod Kintz


#funny #humor #love #surreal #trumpet






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