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Read through the most famous quotes by topic #funny
Men can beat each other to a pulp and still walk away friends. With a woman, once an enemy, always an enemy. Women will sit like a spider, for years, waiting for the chance to strike. They never forget and seldom forgive. ↗
That Reagan shaped mechanical gadget in the metal box that made you jump like a little sissy boy, Joe, that is the heart and soul of what the flag’n’Jebus crowd is scared of so bad they can’t even think about him existing.” He looked at Joe, waiting for an aha! that didn’t come. “That whole wing of modern conservatism lives for, on, about, with, in, and by the idea that everything is happening via supernatural powers and that the devil is powerful and has to be fought. Modern science totally spoils that because it gives people so much power but not from supernatural sources. No God in the instruments, you know? “So with modern tech we can make Ronald Reagan appear to come back from the grave, but to do it with modern tech leaves no need for spirits or sacred words or miracles or any other flavor of magic. Which only re emphasizes what they’re most afraid of: living in a world where nobody paints the sky blue every morning, or leaves quarters for teeth, or made platypi as a joke, or decided to sculpt the Grand Canyon, or took granny to heaven to make chocolate chip cookies for the angels. Nobody, nobody, nobody. So since their theology won’t let me bring in a Robo Jesus to call forth Robo Reagan, like sort of a Robo Lazarus, and they really want this, like so many people do…well, it can’t come from nobody, it has to come from somebody, and the somebody can’t be God. “Well, if the devil is anything, he’s somebody.” Joe was still sputtering. “But it…I mean, they’re going to think it’s coming out of Hell! Literal capital H real place Hell!” “Well, exactly. Think about how much that proves. If there’s a Hell and a Devil, there’s also a Heaven and a God. Once they have their Reagan back all they have to do is pray over him a little, drive the devil out, accept the blessing of a restored Reagan on behalf of God, and they’re good to go. God forgives crazier shit than that all the time. ↗
#religious-nuts #religious-right #right-wingers #satire #forgiveness
I'm OK with being single, but I'm not OK when the time comes where I have to move my furniture around and to change the high ceiling light balls... ↗
I wont take no for an answer. I will use this to bind you to my bed until you change your mind if you dont answer the way I want you to. Will you marry me?" She grinned. "I dont know." Her attention fixed on the tie for a few seconds before she met his gaze again. "I might be tempted to say no just to get you to tie me to your bed. ↗
I am the dinosaur of love. Specifically, I am a pterodactyl, and you are my silent “p.” Stay quiet woman! ↗
#funny #love #pterodactyl #funny
Everything is so funny in the movie. The funniest thing about the movie is the transformations they were able to make with the characters. ↗
