#funny

My brother spent a large portion of the agonizingly slow drive to school banging his forehead on the stearing wheel. ↗

— Michelle Hodkin

#michelle-hodkin #the-unbecoming-of-mara-dyer #funny

Sydney did not believe in life after death, but in her experience, admitting this could lead to long and complicated discussions in which people seemed to think that since she did not believe in God or the afterlife, there was nothing to stop her from becoming an ax murderer. ↗

— Maureen F. McHugh

#atheist #funny #death

I still read the British papers, but I've never been a Royalist, ever. It's funny, there always seems to be much more of a fascination with the Royal Family over here then there does in England. ↗

— Paul Bettany

#been #british #does #england #ever

Huh, another queen,” Puck mused, an evil grin crossing his face. “Maybe we should drop in and introduce ourselves, ice-boy. Do the whole, hey, we were just in the neighborhood, and we were just wondering if you had any plans to take over the Nevernever. Have a fruit basket. ↗

— Julie Kagawa

#puck #robin-goodfellow #funny

It's been nice knowing you, Clara, Huh? My brain still a bit shell-shocked. Say a prayer for me, will you? He gives me a shaky grin. Because I'm pretty sure my parents are going to kill me ↗

— Cynthia Hand

#funny-quotes #tucker-avery #funny

So you're here by yourself?" “Yes." “Seems like an odd place to come by yourself." “I needed to get away." “Woman trouble? That's another of my father's expressions." “No, actually. I poisoned my neighbor's dogs." After a moment she said, “How drunk are you?" “Quite." “Is that true?" “What?" “That you poisoned your neighbor’s dogs." “I’m afraid it is." “I have dogs." “Well, keep them away from me. ↗

— David Gilmour

#funny #death

A man's got to take a lot of punishment to write a really funny book. ↗

— Ernest Hemingway

#funny #got #lot #man #punishment

I love Nudge, Nudge is a great kid, but that motormouth of hers could have turned Mother Teresa into an ax murderer ↗

— James Patterson

#experience

When I was a kid, there was no distinction between a movie about old people or young people. It was either funny or not. It was either entertaining or not. It was either exciting or not. It was either thrilling or not. ↗

— Joseph Bologna

#between #distinction #either #entertaining #exciting

So to me, Texas Hold 'em puts me to sleep. At least when you play stud, you can be funny as you deal. Somebody some day is going to come up with a Stud show that's going to work. ↗

— Joseph Bologna

#day #deal #funny #going #hold