#funny

Ready?" Despite the grim mood, I smiled and cracked my knuckles. "Ready to wrestle with my gorgeous boyfriend? Oh, I'd say I'm ready for that." Amusement softened his eyes. "I'll try to control where I put my hands, but in the heat of things, who knows what could happen?" I added. Patch grinned. "Sounds promising. ↗

— Becca Fitzpatrick

#finale #funny #hush-hush #love #nora-grey

If at first you don't succeed, blame your parents. ↗

— Marcelene Cox

#blame #first #if at first #parents #succeed

Here," Myrnin said, his voice still gentle and low. "Amelie said you had to work. No one said you had to work alone." He picked up the next part and slotted it in, took the screwdriver from Claire's numbed fingers, and fastened it with a couple of deft, fast movements. "I'll be your hands." She wanted to cry, because it was so sweet, but it wouldn't do any good. ↗

— Rachel Caine

#funny #ghost-town #humor #morganville-vampires #myrnin

I love things made out of animals. It's just so funny to think of someone saying, "I need a letter opener. I guess I'll have to kill a deer. ↗

— David Sedaris

#deer #possessions #funny

I want to be the Everyman and take an IQ test and get a perfect 100. ↗

— Jarod Kintz

#funny #humor #iq-test #jarod-kintz #funny

I define myself and grow as a person through emotional torment, so if you love me, you will inflict as much pain on me as you possibly can. ↗

— Jarod Kintz

#love #pain #torment #funny

In high school I tried out for the spelling team, but only because I really wanted a letter jacket. ↗

— Jarod Kintz

#high-school #letter-jacket #spelling #funny

I want to see an elephant hunt down a man for the sole purpose of collecting his teeth, while a chorus of typewriters sings songs that praises the bananas for their wisdom, leadership, and their high levels of potassium. ↗

— Jarod Kintz

#bizarre #dada #funny #humor #hunt

Myrnin turned away to pick up his Ben Franklin spectacles, balanced them on his nose, and looked over them to say, "Don't do drugs. I feel I ought to say that. ↗

— Rachel Caine

#funny #ghost-town #humor #morganville-vampires #myrnin

Dee loves it here. Before you came, she spent most of her days here." To Daemon, my arrival was the beginning of the end. The apocalypse. Kat-mageddon. "You know, I'm not going to get your sister in trouble." "We'll see. ↗

— Jennifer L. Armentrout

#daemon #funny #katy #funny