#funny

Caroline stamped her foot in frustration, but when it landed, it landed on something considerably less flat than the floor. "Owww!" he yelled. Oh! His foot!Sorrysorrysorrysorrysorrysorry , she mouthed.I didn't mean it. "If you think I can understand that," he growled, "you're crazier than I'd originally thought. ↗

— Julia Quinn

#humor #julia-quinn #funny

I’ll be 30 in April. My birthday is March 5th. ↗

— Jarod Kintz

#funny #funny

Have you ever wanted to be somebody else? Today I fantasized about being my own identical monozygotic twin. How cool would that be? I could both be me, and yet be someone completely different. ↗

— Jarod Kintz

#fantasy #funny #monozygotic-twin #somebody-else #funny

Mrs. Winalski owned a candy-apple-red 1965 Mustang GT convertible, and she drove it like she could die at any minute and needed to get five things done before that happened. ↗

— Lish McBride

#die #funny #funny

Are you decent?" a woman's voice called, pushing the door cautiously ajar. "Nay, but we're clothed," Cian purred. ↗

— Karen Marie Moning

#funny #highlander #karen-marie-moning #spell-of-the-highlander #funny

Awesome ends with me; but Ugly starts with u... ↗

— Stephan

#random #silly #funny

Decoupage hit Mooreland pretty hard... ↗

— Haven Kimmel

#funny

I didn't want to wake up. I was having a much better time asleep. And that's really sad. ↗

— Ned Vizzini

#sleep #wake-up #funny

Willpower subverts passion. Bureaucracy subverts willpower. Idiocy subverts bureaucracy. ↗

— Bauvard

#desire #funny #humor #idiots #willpower

Well, first you have to be very, very funny. I have realized that it is essential for a boy to be funny. Otherwise, what is the point in a boy? ↗

— Jaclyn Moriarty

#funny #funny