#funny

Eh, Whappaaaa! ↗

— George Lopez

#funny

One day. One damn day since I talked with Hayles. I've never been more happy for a Monday. ↗

— Becca Ann

#funny

You'll be fine, just some minor burns and hypothermia, which was kind of hard to explain. ↗

— Kiersten White

#medical #funny

Are there any other missing persons living under your roof? Elvis? Jimmy Hoffa? Amelia Earhart? I'd just like full disclosure now, before we go any further. ↗

— Maggie Stiefvater

#officer-koenig #shiver #funny

I got more than I bargained for with him, too. Much more. I know he’s completely different now, but he was really nice and funny when he was human. But apparently his manners didn’t survive the transition.” Marc smiled. “Yeah, well , yours didn’t survive puberty, so you can’t really talk. ↗

— Rachel Vincent

#marc #funny

...she studied his clothes, his top hat. “And you’ve just come from Parliament? How are you finding that?” “It’s much like piracy. You tell your enemies that if they don’t fall in line, you’ll leave them to die. ↗

— Meljean Brook

#funny

I know her note said she was leaving me, but there is some positive in it. At least she cared enough to tell me she didn’t care. ↗

— Jarod Kintz

#goodbye #funny

He bombarded me with words, of all things, apparently clueless to the fact that the predawn hours rendered me incapable of coherent thought. ↗

— Darynda Jones

#first-grave-on-the-right #funny #funny

Fang let out a low whistle. "Anyone know that Amazons could ride a giant bird?" Ethon gave him a duh stare. "Those of us who fought them, yeah, we know. How you think they keep kicking our asses?" "Cause you're pansies. Everyone knows that. ↗

— Sherrilyn Kenyon

#funny

..when the first rubber ball smacked her in the head and made her brains rattle in her skull, she knew that something about this dodgeball game was different ↗

— Michael Buckley

#funny #michael-buckley #funny