#funny

Obsession with sanitation is a concern for sanitariums. A sane consumer makes decisions based on beauty alone, no matter how bad it smells. ↗

— Bauvard

#cleanliness #funny #humor #sanity #smelling

Caine tried to roll to his feet, but something was jabbing him in the crouch. He shook off the stars and saw Edilio standing over him. Edilio had the business end of his automatic rifle in a very sensitive place. "If you move, Caine, I will shoot your balls off," Edilio said. "Toto?" "He will," Toto said, "Although he's not sure it will be just your balls. ↗

— Michael Grant

#caine #edilio #funny #gone #gone-series

this was business. ↗

— Eoin Colfer

#clumsy #fairies-leprecon #funny #genius #mental

No funny business. I’ll scream and dead or not it will hurt your ears ↗

— Penelope Fletcher

#humor #business

Courtiers never look like fools, or engage in hard work if they can’t make it look easy. Conquering the world is a sweaty business, and perspiration always betrays. ↗

— Benson Bruno

#funny #grace #business

Theatres are curious places, magician's trick-boxes where the golden memories of dramtic triumphs linger like nostalgic ghosts, and where the unexplainable, the fantastic, the tragic, the comic and the absurd are routine occurences on and off the stage. Murders, mayhem, politcal intrigue, lucrative business, secret assignations, and of course, dinner. ↗

— E.A. Bucchianeri

#actors #dinner #drama #dramatic #fantastic

Dying isn’t as lucrative as it once was, especially since purple cloth has become so cheap. I’m switching to the business of death instead. I just got hired by the American Medical Association ↗

— Bauvard

#funny #humor #business

I don't want any funny business, and above all I don't want to be dragged into other people's funny business. If it's to be my head on the block, I want to know that it's doing there, and not that it's some stupid things that other people have done. ↗

— Hans Fallada

#consequence #funny-business #business

I just acquired a choir. I bought it for a song.
 ↗

— Jarod Kintz

#buy #choir #consumption #deal #funny

Eve returned to her lip-gloss application. "Biology. Ms Whittier," she said, not bothering to look at Luke. "Cool. Me too. Can I borrow that?" He reached around her and plucked her lip glaze out of her fingers. She still held the wand. He held out his hand for it. "What? No," Eve said. "Come on, it's my first day. I want to make a good impression. And clearly biology can't be understood without lipstick," Luke joked. "Funny." Eve grabbed the lip glaze back. "This stuff is really good for you." Luke raised his eyebrows. They disappeared into his floppy blond hair. He didn't have expressive dark brows like Mal. "It has green tea antioxidants," Eve continued. "And macadamia extract and aloe vera for healing." "Oh. That's different then," Luke said. "Carry on. ↗

— Amy Meredith

#eve #luke #shadows #funny