#funny

I am the dinosaur of love. Specifically, I am a pterodactyl, and you are my silent “p.” Stay quiet woman! ↗

— Jarod Kintz

#funny #love #pterodactyl #funny

The last person they expected to connect with a screenplay was the comedic, blonde actress with the funny voice. ↗

— Joey Lauren Adams

#blonde #comedic #connect #expected #funny

My demeanor isn't that of a woman enraged. To see me slumped, glassy-eyed, holding a sandwich someone has cut for me into four "manageable" pieces, a person might tell you I look much more like a woman subdued. ↗

— Koren Zailckas

#anger-impressions #angry #break-up #break-ups #depression

It's so funny, because right now I'm very tired and my brains a little dead, I tend to get very focused and serious. So, I'm probably coming off a lot more like Scully right now. ↗

— Gillian Anderson

#brains #coming #dead #focused #funny

I am accusing him of stealing my best material, he was a very funny man. ↗

— Frank Carson

#am #best #funny #him #i

The first way not to shake hands is executed by receiving someone’s hand in yours and proceeding to squeeze it tightly, hurting the other party as if they were responsible for a past death in your family, or your adoption as a child. ↗

— Weston Locher

#comedy #essay #funny #humor #death

Don't get me wrong, there are sometimes if I go and see a really funny comedy, that I wished I had smoked a joint. I'll be honest with you. That's the truth. ↗

— Stephen Baldwin

#funny #get #go #had #honest

I'm not funny. What I am is brave. ↗

— Lucille Ball

#brave #funny #i #i am

It's mighty strange for a U-Haul the size of the one Nina rented to show up at the residence when no one has died and a family isn't hauling out furniture. The patients parked in the wheelchairs in the shade think they might have missed some news: "George was watching the TV one minute, then was gone the next." That's the story they like to hear. ↗

— Holley Rubinsky

#humor #family

When you live in a leading lady's body, which I do, you have to constantly prove that you are funny. ↗

— Elizabeth Banks

#constantly #funny #i #i do #lady