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#funny

Read through the most famous quotes by topic #funny




The whole idea of losing one's virginity is kind of ridiculous. To lose something implies carelessness. A mistake that you can fix simply by recovering the lost object, like your cell phone or your glasses. Virginity is more like shedding something than losing it. As in, "Don't worry, Mom. You can call off the helicopters and police dogs. Turns out - get this - I didn't actually lose my virginity. I just cast it off somewhere between here and Monterey. Can you believe it? It could be anywhere by now, what with all that wind.


Sarah Ockler


#life #funny

Behind every successful woman, there's a big prick.


James Patterson


#men #success #funny

Being sociable is a skill you can learn. It’s like throwing a spiral, riding a bicycle, or murdering your clone’s lover, who also happens to be your girlfriend.


Jarod Kintz


#funny #murder #funny

That night at the Brooklyn party, I was playing the girl who was in style, the girl a man like Nick wants: the Cool Girl. Men always say that as the defining compliment, don't they? She's a cool girl. Being the Cool Girl means I am a hot, brilliant, funny woman who adores football, poker, dirty jokes, and burping, who plays video games, drinks cheap beer, loves threesomes and anal sex, and jams hot dogs and hamburgers into her mouth like she's hosting the world's biggest culinary gang bang while somehow maintaining a size 2, because Cool Girls are above all hot.


Gillian Flynn


#funny

He caught her staring and smiled-not a conceited I-work-out-and-have-a-great-body type smirk, but more of a I’m-a-boy; you’re-a-girl; life is good.


Cherise Sinclair


#erotic-romance #funny #romance #funny

It's for upset stomachs," Dylan siad, trying to hide a smile. "It's to reduce gas in your digestive system, not to create gas to make explosions." Gazzy's face fell as Iggy said,"Really? Gazzy, take it! Take the whole thing!" "I second that emotion!" said Total.


James Patterson


#funny

God is an early bird; satan is a night owl. Everyone knows that.


Jon Acuff


#funny #god #satan #funny

So the reason I was struck again and again was because of my overwhelmingly positive energy. Funny, I'd always thought of myself as a pessimist.


Jennifer Bosworth


#energy #funny #irony #lightning #sarcasm

This is Simba," Nicole said, pointing to the lion. "Is he dangerous?" Asked Chase. "Not really. He mauled a trainer, but nothing much.


Roland Smith


#runners #storm #funny

The cucumber is just about the healthiest sex toy ever.


Jarod Kintz


#humor #naughty #funny






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