#funny

A very ladylike bosom,” she said, approvingly. “There’s nothing there,” I complained. The clerk grinned. “I have been fitting bras for twenty-five years and no one ever thinks her breasts are good enough,” she said. “You’ll save yourself a lot of unhappiness if you accept and enjoy what you have. Neat little breasts are very chic. ↗

— Marta Acosta

#funny #funny

I’m 30% in love, and if I ever rise to 70%, then I’ll be 100% in love. But I’ll still be mathematically challenged.
 ↗

— Jarod Kintz

#humor #love #math #funny

Sitting alone in the cafeteria would just scream “I’m the new girl. Everyone stare at me while I eat. ↗

— Kristi Cook

#funny-humor #so-true #funny

We both what you dead. I'm bringing the friendship bracelets to the next meeting. ↗

— Nenia Campbell

#humor #insults #sarcasm #friendship

When I introduced you to Mary Ann, I wanted to call you my girlfriend, Elli,” he looked up at her to see her eyes were wide, “I’ve never had a girlfriend, so I’m not sure if I’ll do the boyfriend/girlfriend thing right, but the thought of you being with someone else, or me with someone else, actually hurts my gut, so I guess what I’m trying to say is,” he took a deep breath, this was huge, and he thought he sounded stupid but with the way her eyes were glazing over, maybe he was doing this right. “I was wondering if you wanted to be my girlfriend.” She smiled at him lovingly, cupping his face in her hands. “Are you sure? I’m kinda crazy.” He laughed, kissing her palm. “I’m sure.” “Then, yes, Shea, I would love to be your girlfriend. ↗

— Toni Aleo

#cute #funny #sweet #funny

She stopped pushing but declared; "Prentice, I know how this works. Sure, she seems fine now. But in fifteen years when she's standing on top of a clocktower with an automatic rifle mowing down innocent bystanders, dont't call ME asking what went wrong. ↗

— Kristen Ashley

#funny

The first rule of being a ninja is, 'Do no harm.' Unless you mean to do harm. Then do lots of harm. ↗

— Splinter TMNT

#ninjas #splinter #tmnt #funny

Does Playboy still run fiction?” “I have absolutely no idea, Melinda,” he said, grinning. ↗

— Robyn Carr

#funny #humour #romance #funny

...in the unique case of a country’s geographic position, it is difficult to consider this factor as anything other than a cause, unless we assume that in prehistoric times peoples migrated to climates that fit their concepts of power distance, which is rather far-fetched. ↗

— Geert Hofstede

#funny #prehistory #travel #funny

I think we may have started this conversation off on the wrong foot," Robert said finally. In fact, if the conversation had been animate, the merciful thing to do would have been to take it out behind the barn and shoot it. ↗

— Courtney Milan - The Duchess War

#funny