#funny

I had a dream about you last night.. You pretended not to be a three hole punch. ↗

— Amy Summers

#dreams #funny #humor #life #relationships

Penard's got a secret baby!' Fifteen-year-old Richard twisted his lips up at one end. 'Maybe he has a secret wife in the attic! ↗

— Olivia Newport

#dreams

When you argue with someone, you always argue at the level of the person with the lowest level of intelligence. You never argue up. ↗

— Spuds Crawford

#humorous #intelligence

I had a dream about you. We couldn't decide on a sunrise. You wanted a tan, I only cared about the view. Then World War III fulfilled both our desires. ↗

— Bauvard

#dreams #funny #humor #life #relationships

I never arrive unannounced without something big and juicy in hand. - Simon Hunt ↗

— Dannika Dark

#humor #hunt #juicy #mage #paranormal

There are many other little refinements too, Mr. Bohlen. You'll see them all when you study the plans carefully. For example, there's a trick that nearly every writer uses, of inserting at least one long, obscure word into each story. This makes the reader think that the man is very wise and clever. So I have the machine do the same thing. There'll be a whole stack of long words stored away just for this purpose." Where?" In the 'word-memory' section," he said, epexegetically. ↗

— Roald Dahl

#funny #humor #humour #funny

Incompetence in mathematics is no proof of brilliance. You must be ignorant of science and geography as well. That is the gold standard of American education. ↗

— Bauvard

#funny #humor #ignorance #math #science

Night clubs are where Americans learn the laws of motion. ↗

— Bauvard

#funny #humor #science #education

The amount of educational programming on television today is simply desensitizing. The only reason left to go to school is to see gun violence. ↗

— Bauvard

#education #funny #gun-violence #humor #television

A lot of brainless unicorns swaggering about and calling themselves educated just because they can push each other off a horse with a bit of a stick! It makes me tired. ↗

— T.H. White

#merlyn #the-once-and-future-king #education