#funny

Can the sarcasm,' he said. 'Please, I always use fresh sarcasm, never canned. ↗

— Laurell K. Hamilton

#funny #funny

It is a very funny thing that the sleepier you are, the longer you take about getting to bed. ↗

— C.S. Lewis

#funny

I want to protect innocent people from sin by locking them in cages, where the evil can't get to them. ↗

— Jarod Kintz

#cages #evil #funny #illogical #innocence

I've often wondered what makes a relationship last. I guess the best answer is it's the one right after the next to the last one. ↗

— Jarod Kintz

#best #funny #humor #relationships #wonder

I hate that stuff. It tastes like feet." At that he smiled. "How would you know what feet taste like?" "I just know. ↗

— Cassandra Clare

#funny

It just seems like overkill when you already have a dagger and I have superpowerful magic at my disposal.” “‘Superpowerful?’”He stood up, a gold chain dangling from his fingers. “Let me remind you of two words, Mercer: Bad. Dog. ↗

— Rachel Hawkins

#bad-dog #funny #sophie #funny

One of the greatest pieces of advice I’ve ever gotten in my life was from my mom. When I was a little kid there was a kid who was bugging me at school and she said “Okay, I’m gonna tell you what to do. If the kid’s bugging you and puts his hands on you; you pick up the nearest rock... ↗

— Johnny Depp

#bullies #funny #johnny-depp #mom #funny

The training part," I guessed. "Yup. You're going to be Dimitri's partner." A moment of funny silence fell, probably not noticeable to anyone except Dimitri and me. Our eyes met. "Guarding partner," Dimitri clarified unnecessarily, like maybe he too had been thinking of other kinds of partners. ↗

— Richelle Mead

#richelle-mead #rose #vampier-acadmey #funny

Not only am I thinking about getting a nose job, but I’m also trying to get employment for the rest of my face. ↗

— Jarod Kintz

#funny #humor #nose-job #one-liner #funny

I don’t read biographies for moral instruction, or for a history lesson. I want to know what people are saying about me. ↗

— Bauvard

#funny #humor #funny