#funny

You are the Energizer Bunny for badasses. -Ash ↗

— Sherrilyn Kenyon

#humor #funny

No matter how hard you try looking for love, Orafoura once told me, the last place you’ll find it is in another man’s ass. But that may not be true, because the last time I lost my boxing gloves, that’s exactly where I found them. ↗

— Jarod Kintz

#love #funny

As young as I look, I think it will still be funny if I played a person who's kind of tortured and hates his life. Kind of like a Larry David-type thing. ↗

— Andy Milonakis

#hates #his #i #i think #kind

Bachelorhood: all the fun of married life and more prosperity, leaving lots of descendants to boast of their father’s memory to their fellow inmates. ↗

— Bauvard

#children #funny #funny

Though the funny thing about never being asked for anything is that after a while you start to feel like maybe you don’t have anything worth giving. ↗

— Lev Grossman

#worth #funny

I’m always hearing that everyone needs someone to love, but I just don’t think people are interchangeable like that. ↗

— Bauvard

#love #funny

I am the Anagram of Love. I’m not evil, but I am evol. I guess this also makes me the Palindrome of Love! ↗

— Jarod Kintz

#love #palindrome #funny

We want to be funny. We want to make people laugh... We'll do whatever it takes. ↗

— Colin Mochrie

#laugh #make #people #takes #want

The funny thing is that I'm the girl who no one sees at the beach. Ask anyone who's traveled with me. Normally, I'm in so many layers, I look like Lawrence of Arabia! ↗

— Vera Wang

#arabia #ask #beach #funny #funny thing

Who's they?" He wanted to know. "Who, specifically, do you think is trying to murder you?" "Every one of them," Yossarian told him. "Every one of whom?" "Every one of whom do you think?" "I haven't any idea." "Then how do you know they aren't?" "Because..." Clevinger sputtered, and turned speechless with frustration. Clevinger really thought he was right, but Yossarian had proof, because strangers he didn't know shot at him with cannons every time he flew up into the air to drop bombs on them, and it wasn't funny at all. ↗

— Joseph Heller

#murder #paranoia #funny