#funny

Snufflers are afraid to experience the abundant possibilities of air, its hidden flurries of ferment. The denial of life is strong in the nose-breather. ↗

— Benson Bruno

#funny #nose #experience

For our fourth date, I said I wanted Italian, and she said she wanted Chinese. We decided to compromise and meet at the movie theater after we’d both eaten. ↗

— Jarod Kintz

#funny #dating

Dying isn’t as lucrative as it once was, especially since purple cloth has become so cheap. I’m switching to the business of death instead. I just got hired by the American Medical Association ↗

— Bauvard

#funny #humor #business

I don't want any funny business, and above all I don't want to be dragged into other people's funny business. If it's to be my head on the block, I want to know that it's doing there, and not that it's some stupid things that other people have done. ↗

— Hans Fallada

#consequence #funny-business #business

Why were you watching me change?" I explain. "Uh, 'cause I'm a guy?" He flips the pillow and slaps it, fluffing it. Then he rolls over and closes his eyes again. ↗

— Miranda Kenneally

#change

I was going to change my clothes, but I changed my mind instead. ↗

— Jarod Kintz

#funny #humor #mind #change

When people try and change you for the better, you should let them. That way when you remain the same person despite everything, it can’t be said that you have no one to blame but yourself. ↗

— Bauvard

#funny #identity #sameness #change

The past is the past. I believe that people can change, under the right conditions (like plastic surgery). ↗

— Jarod Kintz

#funny #past #plastic-surgery #change

(About sweeping).... What he was in FACT doing was moving the dirt around with a broom, to give it a change of scenery and a chance to make new friends. ↗

— Terry Pratchett

#humorous #ironic #irony #laughable #change

The Search for Truth is a homeless vagrant who begs for food and gathers enough spare change for malt liquor. ↗

— Bauvard

#homelessness #humor #truth #change