#ge

If you can't forgive and forget, then pick one and do it ... ↗

— James Brault

#forgiveness #humor #forgiveness

A brick could be used to raise your status as an upstanding citizen. Don’t get too excited, though. It’ll only raise you up about three inches.
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— Jarod Kintz

#brick-and-blanket-iq-test #brick-and-blanket-responses #brick-and-blanket-test #brick-and-blanket-uses #funny

You've got an awfully kissable mouth. ↗

— F. Scott Fitzgerald

#flapper #humor #kiss #kissing #kissing-quotes

You can’t has,' he whispered softly, 'not yours. ↗

— Wil Wheaton

#fantasy #geekery #humor #humor

How much intelligence does it take to sneak up on a leaf? ↗

— Larry Niven

#hunter #vegetarian #humor

A brick could be used to represent society as a whole. But to represent society as a half, I’d recommend using either a full carton of half and half, or a half-full carton of whole milk.
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— Jarod Kintz

#brick-and-blanket-iq-test #brick-and-blanket-responses #brick-and-blanket-test #brick-and-blanket-uses #funny

To be saved is to believe in one's own courage. ↗

— Marty Rubin

#salvation #courage

Well, I just don’t want you to think that this piece of shit is anything other than a pathetic, human defect. Nothing more. Not a monster, not a bogeyman. Nothing but another reason to feel better about yourself. Understand that it’s just a person - not worth devoting any nightmares to. ↗

— Jhonen Vasquez

#cynical #human #humor #jthm #humor

Bride, n. - A woman with a fine prospect of happiness behind her. ↗

— Ambrose Bierce

#happiness #humor #marriage #matrimony #satire

One hardly need believe that the events in your life are actually planned as bolts from the blue, sent special delivery from a deity who is testing and training you like a lab rat! And that is what we are saying when we fretfully ask, "What can God be trying to teach me through this tragedy? ↗

— Robert M. Price

#tragedy #humor