#harry

Wild!" Ron said, twiddling the replay knob on the side. "I can make that old bloke down there pick his nose again... and again... and again... ↗

— J.K. Rowling

#harry-potter #humor #ron-weasley #humor

Harry Dresden. Saving the world, one act of random destruction at a time. ↗

— Jim Butcher

#heroism #humor #humor

Bite me, faerie fruitcake. ↗

— Jim Butcher

#humor #humor

Hell's holy stars and freaking stones shit bells. ↗

— Jim Butcher

#harry-dresden #humor #humor

Get up, you useless lump, get up! ↗

— J.K. Rowling

#humor #j-k-rowling #humor

I am not forgotten, you know, no, I still receive a very great deal of fan mail. . . . Gladys Gudgeon writes weekly. . . . I just wish I knew why. . . .” He paused, looking faintly puzzled, then beamed again and returned to his signing with renewed vigor. “I suspect it is simply my good looks. . . . ↗

— J.K. Rowling

#gilderoy #harry-potter #humor #lockehart #rowling

They stuff people’s heads down the toilet the first day at Stonewall,” he told Harry. “Want to come upstairs and practice?” “No, thanks,” said Harry. “The poor toilet’s never had anything as horrible as your head down it — it might be sick.” Then he ran, before Dudley could work out what he’d said. ↗

— J.K. Rowling

#humor #humor

This is your copy of Advanced Potion-Making, is it, Potter?” “Yes,” said Harry, still breathing hard. “You’re quite sure of that, are you, Potter?” “Yes,” said Harry, with a touch more defiance. “This is the copy of Advanced Potion-Making that you purchased from Flourish and Blotts?” “Yes,” said Harry firmly. “Then why,” asked Snape, “does it have the name ‘Roonil Wazlib’ written inside the front cover?” Harry’s heart missed a beat. “That’s my nickname,” he said. ↗

— J.K. Rowling

#humor #potions #ron-weasley #severus-snape #humor

You should have told her differently,' said Hermione, still with that maddeningly patient air. 'You should have said it was really annoying, but I'd made you promise to come along to the Three Broomsticks, and you really didn't want to go, you'd much rather spend the whole day with her, but unfortunately you thought you really ought to meet me and would she please, please come along with you, and hopefully you'd be able to get away more quickly? And it might have been a good idea to mention how ugly you think I am too,' Hermione added as an afterthought. 'But I don't think you're ugly,' said Harry, bemused. Hermione laughed. ↗

— J.K. Rowling

#harry-potter #hermione-granger #humor #order-of-the-phoenix #humor

...The next time I opened my eyes, I was in the morgue. This, all by itself, is enough to really ruin your day. I was lying on the examining table, and Butters, complete with his surgical gown and his tray of autopsy instruments, stood over me. 'I'm not dead!' I sputtered. 'I'm not dead!' - Harry Dresden, Death Masks, Jim Butcher ↗

— Jim Butcher

#harry-dresden #magic #paranormal #wizards #death