#hen

When I edit, I'm not from the school of Hello, I'm a genius, so everybody shut up. I'm from the school of Let's play it once in front of an audience, and then I'll tell you where it is going. ↗

— Garry Marshall

#edit #everybody #front #genius #going

Don't lower your expectations to meet your performance. Raise your level of performance to meet your expectations. Expect the best of yourself, and then do what is necessary to make it a reality. ↗

— Ralph Marston

#expect #expectations #level #lower #make

I love women, but I feel like you can't trust some of them. Some of them are liars, you know? Like I was in the park and I met this girl, she was cute and she had a dog. And I went up to her, we started talking. She told me her dog's name. Then I said, 'Does he bite?' She said, 'No.' And I said, 'Oh yeah? Then how does he eat?' Liar. ↗

— Demetri Martin

#cute #does #dog #eat #feel

But when women are moved and lend help, when women, who are by nature calm and controlled, give encouragement and applause, when virtuous and knowledgeable women grace the endeavor with their sweet love, then it is invincible. ↗

— Jose Marti

#calm #controlled #encouragement #endeavor #give

There's timing. And then there's also certain people at the record company who worked incredibly hard and were incredibly enthusiastic about what I was doing. ↗

— Mary Chapin Carpenter

#also #certain #company #doing #enthusiastic

I was walking in the park and this guy waved at me. Then he said, 'I'm sorry, I thought you were someone else.' I said, 'I am.' ↗

— Demetri Martin

#else #guy #i #i am #me

If you can't tell a spoon from a ladle, then you're fat! ↗

— Demetri Martin

#fat #spoon #tell #then #you

I like women, but you can't always trust them. Some of them are big liars, like this one woman I met who had a dog. I asked her her dog's name and then I asked, 'Does he bite?' and she said, 'No.' And I said, 'So how does he eat?' Liar! ↗

— Demetri Martin

#asked #big #bite #does #dog

Whenever I'm on my computer, I don't type 'lol'. I type 'lqtm' - laugh quietly to myself. It's more honest. ↗

— Demetri Martin

#honest #i #laugh #more #myself

I used to play sports. Then I realized you can buy trophies. Now I am good at everything. ↗

— Demetri Martin

#buy #everything #good #i #i am