#hum

Young girls and mass murders are tender hearted creatures ↗

— Pierre Lemaitre

#mass-murder #thriller #humor

The [bowling] ball flew out jerkily, sailed about four feet, hit the lane with a loud crack, and then promptly entered the gutter. Roman walked up beside me, and we silently watched the ball complete its journey. 'Are you always that rough with balls?' he asked finally. 'Most men don't complain. ↗

— Richelle Mead

#humor

Being on Twitter is like having a fern. ↗

— Steve Martin

#humor

It's just been a long week, that's all." "It's monday night, Jess." "My point exactly. ↗

— Scott Westerfeld

#monday #humor

There is no reason to regard God as immune from consideration along the spectrum of probabilities. And there is certainly no reason to suppose that, just because God can be neither proved nor disproved, his probability of existence is 50 per cent. ↗

— Richard Dawkins

#religion #science #humor

What flaw could you possibly find in his appearance?" "His posture," Hannah muttered. "What about it?" "He slouches." "He's an American. They all slouch. The weight of their wallets drags them over. ↗

— Lisa Kleypas

#humor #posture #wallets #humor

Musical beds is the faculty sport around here. ↗

— Edward Albee

#innuendo #humor

That's how hospitals get you. You go in to visit and before you know it they got a camera stuck up your butt and they're looking' to find poloponies. ↗

— Janet Evanovich

#humorous #humor

Neither would you, had you grown up in a library of melodramatic romance novels. ↗

— Clementine Holzinger

#humor #reading #romance-novels #humor

She'd been trained as a child no to trust anyone, but he'd just saved her life, and she was freezing. He could be a yeti for all she cared. ↗

— Krystal Shannan

#holiday #humor #multicultural #romance #humor