#hum

A surging, seething, murmuring crowd of beings that are human only in name, for to the eye and ear they seem naught but savage creatures, animated by vile passions and by the lust of vengeance and of hate. ↗

— Baroness Orczy

#beings #creatures #crowd #ear #eye

Well, he doesn't make me laugh. I think I've got a fair sense of humour but I can't really see it in him. I've listened to his show on the radio on a Saturday morning, and that's a load of mince as well. ↗

— Ian St. John

#got #him #his #humour #i

I’m famous for my Shepherd’s Pie. Here’s my recipe: lamb, potatoes, cheese, peas, paprika, and a wool-covered apron for the chef/shepherd/wolf-like politician to wear while serving the sheeple up.
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— Jarod Kintz

#funny #humor #politicians #politics #recipe

I bought a house in a depressed neighborhood. The prices weren’t low, but the people were all bummed out. ↗

— Jarod Kintz

#funny #humor #real-estate #funny

And I would be the first to admit that probably, in a lot of press conferences over the time that I have been in coaching, indulging my own sense of humor at press conferences has not been greatly to my benefit. ↗

— Bobby Knight

#be the first #been #benefit #coaching #conferences

Nathan: She's got you thinking this is how you’re supposed to be. It's not. We're young. We’re supposed to drink too much. We're supposed to have bad attitudes and shag each other's brains out. We were designed to party. We owe it to ourselves to party hard. We owe it to each other. This is it. This is our time. So a few of us will overdose, or go mental. Charles Darwin said you can't make an omelette without breaking a few eggs. That's what it's about - breaking eggs - by eggs, I mean, getting twatted on a cocktail of class As. It breaks my heart-you're wearing cardigans! If you could see yourselves... We had it all. We have fucked up bigger and better than any generation that came before us. We were so beautiful... ↗

— Howard Overman

#experimenting #humour #life-lessons #screwing-up #attitude

A brick could be used as a dream stimulator. Just tap it gently against your forehead. And if the mechanism gets stuck, just slam it down on your skull to jar everything loose.
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— Jarod Kintz

#brick-and-blanket-iq-test #brick-and-blanket-responses #brick-and-blanket-test #brick-and-blanket-uses #funny

A brick could be used to assuage your sense that life isn't real. Hold it in your hands and say, This is not a dream.
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— Jarod Kintz

#brick-and-blanket-iq-test #brick-and-blanket-responses #brick-and-blanket-test #brick-and-blanket-uses #funny

Need to get to Ruislip by sparrow-fart though', said the squadron leader. 'Think you can do that? Can I come along for the ride? ↗

— Robert Rankin

#ridiculous #science-fiction #science

Secular humanists suspect there is something more gloriously human about resisting the religious impulse; about accepting the cold truth, even if that truth is only that the universe is as indifferent to us as we are to it. ↗

— Tom Flynn

#accepting #cold #even #gloriously #human