#hum

I love sleep because it is both pleasant and safe to use. Pleasant because one is in the best possible company and safe because sleep is the consummate protection against the unseemliness that is the invariable consequence of being awake. What you don't know won't hurt you. Sleep is death without the responsibility. ↗

— Fran Lebowitz

#sleep #death

Thanks to my mother, I was raised to have a morbid imagination. When I was a child, she often talked about death as warning, as an unavoidable matter of fact. Little Debbie's mom down the block might say, 'Honey, look both ways before crossing the street.' My mother's version: 'You don't look, you get smash flat like sand dab.' (Sand dabs were the cheap fish we bought live in the market, distinguished in my mind by their two eyes affixed on one side of their woebegone cartoon faces.) The warnings grew worse, depending on the danger at hand. Sex education, for example, consisted of the following advice: 'Don't ever let boy kiss you. You do, you can't stop. Then you have baby. You put baby in garbage can. Police find you, put you in jail, then you life over, better just kill youself. ↗

— Amy Tan

#truth #death

While Maddox now believed the demon did not want to hurt Ashlyn, he wasn't willing to take a chance. He would talk about flowers and moonbeams - he cringed - if it meant maintaining this delectable inner peace. "Is there a way to break your death-curse?" Ashlyn asked. So much for flowers and moon-beams. ↗

— Gena Showalter

#humor #lords-of-the-underworld #romance #death

Nobody's death is impending." ..."Well technically everyone's death is impending. ↗

— Eoin Colfer

#humor #death

Death doesn't really worry me that much, I'm not frightened about it... I just don't want to be there when it happens. ↗

— Woody Allen

#fun #funny #humor #death

Still, waking up this early was just wrong. “Why can’t people be reasonable and only die after eleven A.M.?” I whined. ↗

— Diana Rowland

#death

The butcher died, and he requested to be cremated. But I don’t want to burn him, because I like my meat medium rare.
 ↗

— Jarod Kintz

#cannibalism #cook #cooking #cremated #death

The most I can hope for is to die in a pose that confuses future archaeologists. ↗

— Yahtzee Croshaw

#black-humor #comedy #death #death

Die, die we all pass away, But don't wear a frown coz it's really okay, And you might try to hide, And you might try to pray, But we all end up remains of the day. ↗

— Danny Elfman - The Corpse Bride

#humor #life #pray #death

You have some balls." Frankie hated that expression, ever since Zada had pointed out to her that it equates courage with the male equipment... ↗

— E. Lockhart

#humor #inspirational #courage