#hum

Just because you're paranoid doesn't mean they're not out to get you. ↗

— John Lyman

#humor

A classroom . People trying to stick me in classrooms was becoming as predictable and annoying as people trying to kill me, but with less-fun results. ↗

— James Patterson

#humor #lol #school #funny

It's obvious which one you are,' Jimmy Hailler tells me as we walk through Hyde Park. 'If it's so obvious why can't I see it.' 'Because you live in your own world and can't see anything.' 'Then which one am I?' 'You're all four. You're constantly bitching things under your breath, you come across bloody stupid because you don't speak, on a particular angle in that uniform on an overcast day with your hair up, you've got that stocky butch thing happening, plus you're pashing other girl's boyfriends which makes you a slut. ↗

— Melina Marchetta

#humor

Horseman. I know you were born back when women were thought of as little more than brood mares and slaves, but it's the twenty-first century, and we can do anything a man does. ↗

— Larissa Ione

#humor #humor

Mom and Dad exchange a nervous glance and have a telepathic conversation about it. I hear every word. Do we let her out? It's past curfew. True, but look at that—at least she asked! I know! I can hardly believe it! She could have sneaked out, but she asked! I know! We're good parents! "What time will you be back?" Dad asks. ↗

— Courtney Summers

#parents #telepathic #humor

Did you hear that! Yuki, the heartless Yuki! Heartless Yuki has begged me with tears to let him visit my shop! ↗

— Natsuki Takaya

#humor

They're spreading out. Look unaware and sweet and innocent. It's a little hard to look innocent when I'm as big as a house. ↗

— Christine Feehan

#pregnancy #humor

هناك دافعان لقراءة كتاب ما : الأول هو الاستمتاع به ، والثاني هو التباهي بقراءته ↗

— Bertrand Russell

#humor

Callipygian: Having shapely buttocks. ↗

— Stephanie Perkins

#humor #humor

I'm not sure I would label it a 'survivor,'" said Iko, her sensor darkening with disgust. "It looks more like a rotting pumpkin. ↗

— Marissa Meyer

#humor