#hum

I bought some powdered water, but I don’t know what to add. ↗

— Steven Wright

#humor

On Wednesday, when the sky is blue, and I have nothing else to do, I sometimes wonder if it's true That who is what and what is who." - Winnie-the-Pooh ↗

— A.A. Milne

#inspirational #humor

A 'very good friend' is a dangerous category with Indian girls. From here you can either make fast progress or if you play it wrong, you can go down to the lowest category invented by the Indian women ever - rakhi brother. Rakhi brother really means 'you can talk to me, but don't even freaking think about anything else you bore'. ↗

— Chetan Bhagat

#rakhi-brother #humor

That was the most awkward Wednesday he ever remembered. ↗

— J.R.R. Tolkien

#humor

If you want to know the Correct term for me, I'm a Dark-Hunter." Nick digested that word slowly. "Which means what? You hunt darkness?" "Yes, Nick. That's exactly what I do. There's just not enough of it." Now, there was some sarcasm you could cut with a knife. ↗

— Sherrilyn Kenyon

#humor #humour #humor

One day I'll work out what it is you are saying, my lad, and then you'll be in trouble. ↗

— Terry Pratchett

#sarcasm #humor

Boyfriend huh? I didn't realize we had taken things to that level." "Oh, I'm sorry--this is my first undercover operation," Jordan said. "I'm a little unclear about the rules. Are we seeing other people in this fake relationship? ↗

— Julie James

#humor

People do not deserve good writing, they are so pleased with bad. ↗

— Ralph Waldo Emerson

#writing #humor

I think crush is the perfect word to describe it, too, because it simultaneously means 'to have a brief infatuation with someone unattainable' and 'to be violently squashed. ↗

— Elna Baker

#humor

The secret of a good sermon is to have a good beginning and a good ending; and to have the two as close together as possible. ↗

— George Burns

#humor #religion #humor