#hum

CHOW^TM contained spun, plaited, and woven protein molecules, capped and coded, carefully designed to be ignored by even the most ravenous digestive tract enzymes; no-cal sweeteners; mineral oils replacing vegetable oils; fibrous materials, colorings, and flavorings. The end result was a foodstuff almost indistinguishable from any other except for two things. Firstly, the price, which was slightly higher, and secondly, the nutritional content, which was roughly equivalent to that of a Sony Walkman. ↗

— Neil Gaiman

#famine #good-omens #humor #sable-black #sony-walkman

I was glad to be made aware that “Veimke” (jeune fille au pair), is subject to natural law, and can be made fat, by such things as poor diet, and alcohol. ↗

— Roman Payne

#au-pair #diet #germans #humor #humour

I just can’t trim down. My skeleton is in the way. ↗

— Benson Bruno

#funny #humor #diet

Delia was an overbearing cake with condescending frosting, and frankly, I was on a diet. ↗

— Maggie Stiefvater

#diet #frosting #humor #metaphor #diet

The human young must learn to perceive these affordances, in some degree at least, but the young of some animals do not have time to learn the ones that are crucial for survival. ↗

— James J. Gibson

#degree #human #learn #least #must

A sharp bolt of hunger hit Luther hard. His knees almost buckled, his poker face almost grimaced. For two weeks now his sense of smell had been much keener, no doubt a side effect of a strict diet. Maybe he got a whiff of Mabel's finest, he wasn't sure, but a craving came over him. Suddenly, he had to have something to eat. Suddenly, he wanted to snatch the bag from Kendall, rip open a package, and start gnawing on a fruitcake. ↗

— John Grisham

#fruitcake #humor #humour #skipping-christmas #diet

Wearing that personal trainer nametag doesn't make you right #AHOLE ↗

— Andy Ostrom

#exercise #funny #humor #life #workout

Honestly—who puts a hamburger next to diet tofu curry unless they’re trying to buy your soul? ↗

— Amy Lane

#diet

We... Charlotta the Fourth and I... live in defiance of every known law of diet." ~ Miss Lavendar, chap 27 ↗

— L.M. Montgomery

#humor #l-m-montgomery #diet

I'm on a whisky diet. I've lost three days already. ↗

— Tommy Cooper

#diet