#hum

Blessed are the meek, for to them we shall say "attaboy". ↗

— Christopher Moore

#humour #gospel

Maxim 8: Mockery and derision have their place. Usually, it's on the far side of the airlock. -The Seventy Maxims of Maximally Effective Mercenaries ↗

— Howard Tayler

#humour #mockery #rules-to-live-by #sci-fi #sci-fi

You ever flown something before?" (Christopher) "I hold the highest score at A.S.U. for Star Wars: Starfighter." (Kitty) "I know, beyond a shadow of a doubt, that I'm going to regret this." (Christopher) ↗

— Gini Koch

#humor #sci-fi #sci-fi

Ennesby, get the Serial Peacemaker to the beach for dustoff. Dustoff? You're going to run away from three guys? No, I'm going to kill or capture those three guys, and then run away from the Police. -Captain Kevyn Andreyasn & General Tagon ↗

— Howard Tayler

#evasive-action #humour #military #sci-fi #sci-fi

James had been acting a little weird. After waking up yesterday, he'd been a little bit distant. It might just be the stress of the trip. It was probably hard on James to be in charge of the little group. He was responsible for the welfare of his lover, a nun, and a talking horse. That couldn't be easy. ↗

— Anne Tenino

#humor #m-m-romance #sci-fi #sci-fi

W turned on his heel and began walking toward the door at the far wall. And by walking I mean, of course, not moving at all, at least not to the naked eye, because his strides could only be measured in micrometers. His creaky legs made barely the tiniest of forward steps, so he’d taken four strides before I noticed any lateral movement at all. “I'll be right back.” “Geologically speaking, of course,” HARV said. ↗

— John Zakour

#sci-fi #sci-fi-humour-comedy #sci-fi

Nothing is very strong: strong enough to steal away a man's best years not in sweet sins but in a dreary flickering of the mind over it knows not what and knows not why, in the gratification of curiosities so feeble that the man is only half aware of them, in drumming of fingers and kicking of heels, in whistling tunes that he does not like, or in the long, dim labyrinth of reveries that have not even lust or ambition to give them a relish, but which, once chance association has started them, the creature is took weak and fuddled to shake off. ↗

— C.S. Lewis

#humanity #nothing #screwtape #soul #ambition

I really hope he shapes up, you know? He’s got a good head on his shoulders when he’s not trying to give himself alcohol poisoning. ↗

— Hailey Abbott

#alcohol

Like a lot of people, I’ve always enjoyed commenting on strangers’ outfits. Unlike a lot of people, I now had a new megaphone to do it with. And, let me tell you, commenting on people’s hilarious clothing choices through a megaphone makes it so much better. ↗

— Demetri Martin

#humour #this-is-a-book #hilarious

I am in the Master of Professional Writing program teaching Humor Writing, Literary and Dramatic. ↗

— Shelley Berman

#dramatic #humor #i #i am #literary