#hum

So that's little Scorpious. Make sure you beat him in every test, Rosie. Thank god you've inherited your mother's brains. ↗

— J.K. Rowling

#humor #malfoy #ron-weasley #death

What would a racist call werewolves? Wargs? She kind of liked that one, but suspected that racist bastards didn't read Tolkien. ↗

— Patricia Briggs

#irony #racism #tolkien #werewolves #humor

There ain't a body, be it mouse or man, that ain't made better by a little soup. ↗

— Kate DiCamillo

#humor #humor

Świat się zmienia, słońce zachodzi, a wódka się kończy. ↗

— Andrzej Sapkowski

#life #world #humor

McGough: I'm sorry. I'm afraid I've caught poetry. Mr Bones: Oh really? Well, don't worry, sir - I used to suffer from short stories. McGough: Really? When? Mr Bones: Oh, once upon a time ... ↗

— Graham Chapman

#poetry #humor

Love is a two-way street constantly under construction. ↗

— Carroll Bryant

#humor-relationships #love #romantic-comedy #romanticism #humor

I never wanted to be a painter; I wanted to be a tap dancer. ↗

— Andy Warhol

#life #humor

... Besides it's better to have Miyoshi around. You and me have a been together since Jr. High. Without her around people might think we're gay. ↗

— Tsugumi Ohba

#humor #manga #humor

The proper office of a friend is to side with you when you are in the wrong. Nearly anybody will side with you when you are in the right. ↗

— Mark Twain

#humor

Rubbish!" screamed a fat, elderly woman, in Richard's ear, as he passed her malodorous stall. "Junk!" She continued. "Garbage! Trash! Offal! Debris! Come and get it! Nothing whole or undamaged! Crap, tripe, and useless piles of shit. You know you want it. ↗

— Neil Gaiman

#trash #humor