#hum

You're such a pain in the ass. (Butch) Said the SIG to the Glock. (V) ↗

— J.R. Ward

#humor #vampire #friendship

Time is such a waste of time to think about, because the longer you ponder it, the more of it you lose. And before you know it, you don’t know it, because you are nothing but dusty worm food. ↗

— Jarod Kintz

#funny #humor #knowledge #loss #ponder

Having now finished the work assigned me, I retire from the great theatre of Action; and bidding an Affectionate farewell to this August body under whose orders I have so long acted, I here offer my Commission, and take my leave of all the employments of public life. (Address to Congress on Resigning Commission Dec 23, 1783) ↗

— George Washington

#humility #patriotism #restraint #freedom

It is not, I think, a question of when and how the white people will "free" the black and the red people. It is a condescension to believe that we have the power to do that. Until we have recognized in them the full strength and grace of their distinctive humanity we will be able to set no one free, for we will not be free ourselves. When we realize that they possess a knowledge for the lack of which we are incomplete and in pain, then the wound in our history will be healed. Then they will simply be free, among us--and so will we, among ourselves for the first time, and among them. ↗

— Wendell Berry

#humanity #racism #freedom

the only way Bex would miss this would be if she were unconscious. And tied up. And in a concrete bunker. In Siberia. ↗

— Ally Carter

#humour #loyalty #friendship

Sometimes I'm beside myself wondering who is next to me. ↗

— U.L. Harper

#inspirational #u-l-harper #humor

When the gap between the rich and the poor is so huge that you can’t help pointing it out – that’s when you risk being labeled a pervert. ↗

— Bauvard

#humor #inequality #perversion #funny

He would have shaved the centaurs, dipped them in honey, covered them with feathers, and hung them up like a bunch of pinatas. I'm just saying." - Warren ↗

— Brandon Mull

#centaurs #funny #humor #patton #warren

It is funny the things that run through your mind when you're sitting in your underpants in front of a pair of strangers. ↗

— David Sedaris

#funny

You’re disoriented. You just woke up. You’re in the future. You’ve been asleep for eight hours. ↗

— Jarod Kintz

#humor #sleep #funny