#hum

No, she laughed." How on earth could that be done? If you try to laugh and say ‘No’ at the same time, it sounds like neighing — yet people are perpetually doing it in novels. If they did it in real life they would be locked up. ↗

— Hilaire Belloc

#on-people-in-books #writing #life

Smartass Disciple: What were you thinking when the truth is revealed unto you? Master of Stupidity: I wasn't thinking. I was having sex when it came to my mind. ↗

— Toba Beta

#life #sex #truth #life

I had a dream about you. You were an escalator, and I was a flight of stairs. You thought I was a Luddite, and I thought I was as ostrich, because I hadn’t figured out how to put the fly in flight. One day you broke down, and then you saw that you and I weren’t so different after all. 
 ↗

— Dora J. Arod

#dreams #funny #humor #life #relationships

The pejorative parigüayo, Watchers agree, is a corruption of the English neologism "party watcher." The word came into common usage during the First American Occupation of the DR, which ran from 1916-1924. (You didn't know we were occupied twice in the twentieth century? Don't worry, when you have kids they won't know the U.S. occupied Iraq either.) ↗

— Junot Díaz

#life

The Scientific Method is a wonderful tool as long as you don't care which way the outcome turns; however, this process fails the second one's perception interferes with the interpretation of data. This is why I don’t take anything in life as an absolute…even if someone can “prove” it “scientifically. ↗

— Cristina Marrero

#humor #proof #science-fiction #scientific-method #life

There'd be no molecules, no chemistry and, hence, no life without static cling. ↗

— James Kakalios

#life

Does that girl work here?' Robbie asked, gesturing at the screen behind which Mary had disappeared. 'All her life,' Sir Giles said. 'You remember Mary, Thomas?' 'I tried to drown her when we were both children,' Thomas said. ↗

— Bernard Cornwell

#life

I doubt if she’s ever used a broom in her life,” he said sarcastically. “Except to ride on, of course. ↗

— Doreen Owens Malek

#mean #life

My favorite quote in the world is this one. ↗

— Richelle E. Goodrich

#humorous-quotes #quotes #quotes-i-love #quotes-that-make-sense #quotes-to-define-my-life

you will need a great deal of self-discipline not to lose your sense of balance, humility, and commitment. ↗

— H. Ross Perot

#commitment #humility #self-discipline #life